Comments on: SPEAKING YOUR TRUTH, WITHOUT RANCOUR http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31 Our lives are the sum total of the choices we make and the changes we effect. These are my musings about this journey... Thu, 02 Sep 2010 15:38:01 +0100 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.0.1 By: Personal Stories of Change Blog Carnival: Edition 13 http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31&cpage=1#comment-566 Personal Stories of Change Blog Carnival: Edition 13 Sun, 02 Nov 2008 05:44:18 +0000 http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31#comment-566 [...] Derwent Cooke presents Speaking Your Truth, Without Rancour posted at Change & [...] [...] Derwent Cooke presents Speaking Your Truth, Without Rancour posted at Change & [...]

]]> By: richardderwentcooke http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31&cpage=1#comment-46 richardderwentcooke Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:40:46 +0000 http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31#comment-46 Anon, Thank you so much for sharing this story. I appreciate the courage it takes. Will pm you directly. Anon,

Thank you so much for sharing this story. I appreciate the courage it takes. Will pm you directly.

]]> By: Anon http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31&cpage=1#comment-45 Anon Fri, 04 Jan 2008 21:34:22 +0000 http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31#comment-45 I read your blog and yes, you're right, someone else (me) is going through a similar family situation with the roots deep in childhood. The difficulty is that my family have the ability to deceive themselves to the point of actually telling lies (against me, usually) which they actually believe are the truth. The emotional side of things (my being undervalued and marginalised) is complicated by a family business issue wherein they want my (relatively small) shareholding for much less than their value... Anyway, that's enough about me. Your problem might be completely different, but you're absolutely right to think in terms of placing your feelings coolly and calmly in front of them and to let them do with it what they will. The problem with my family, when I have done this, is that they just point-blank deny the truth of what I say - they make out that I'm always in the wrong. I hope your family can be more logical and more easily see reason. Perhaps there is some small comfort to be drawn from the knowledge that your experience, though painful, is not unique I read your blog and yes, you’re right, someone else (me) is going through a similar family situation with the roots deep in childhood.

The difficulty is that my family have the ability to deceive themselves to the point of actually telling lies (against me, usually) which they actually believe are the truth.

The emotional side of things (my being undervalued and marginalised) is complicated by a family business issue wherein they want my (relatively small) shareholding for much less than their value…

Anyway, that’s enough about me. Your problem might be completely different, but you’re absolutely right to think in terms of placing your feelings coolly and calmly in front of them and to let them do with it what they will.

The problem with my family, when I have done this, is that they just point-blank deny the truth of what I say – they make out that I’m always in the wrong.

I hope your family can be more logical and more easily see reason.

Perhaps there is some small comfort to be drawn from the knowledge that your experience, though painful, is not unique

]]> By: richardderwentcooke http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31&cpage=1#comment-37 richardderwentcooke Tue, 01 Jan 2008 11:37:41 +0000 http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31#comment-37 Cora, Thank you for sharing this experience. How are things now and how do you feel about it? Cora,
Thank you for sharing this experience. How are things now and how do you feel about it?

]]> By: Cora Stam http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31&cpage=1#comment-36 Cora Stam Tue, 01 Jan 2008 11:11:44 +0000 http://www.i-change.biz/blog/?p=31#comment-36 Thanks Richard, I enjoyed reading your pondering... and I'm taking it personally this time because I had a slightly similar experience last night, on New Year's Eve. Indeed, my 'problem' concerned nothing special that I didn't know already, I just had lost sight too. Suddenly I knew that the keywords were hidden in what you are mentioning above: I just need to say how I feel, say what I want and what I hope for and then accept the consequences. And I did. And it worked out well. Quite often the best attitude is to be straightforward. Nothing more, nothing less. Cora Thanks Richard,

I enjoyed reading your pondering…
and I’m taking it personally this time because I had a slightly similar experience last night,
on New Year’s Eve.
Indeed, my ‘problem’ concerned nothing special that I didn’t know already, I just had lost sight too.
Suddenly I knew that the keywords were hidden in what you are mentioning above:

I just need to say how I feel, say what I want and what I hope for and then accept the consequences.

And I did.
And it worked out well.
Quite often the best attitude is to be straightforward.
Nothing more, nothing less.

Cora

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