This blog is all about YOU!

It is; it really is!

Let me explain with a story… Yesterday someone posted a blog. It happened to be next to one of mine; the title happened to be similar, possibly even a pun. “Goodness!” I thought, “Is this about me?” I then went off on a little waft about what it was saying about me. I began to get a bit upset (just in case it was about me…. Dooh!) You know the punch line already don’t you? I wrote to the person, and, of course, I was wrong. Nothing to do with me…

So why am I apparently wasting your time telling this meaningless little story? Well, within this is something HUGE!

This is the process we go through. Something happens (and of course is does all the time!) We ask ourselves “What does this mean?” Followed up by “What does this say about me?” (Because everything that we see & experience ‘out there’ is filtered through what we think / feel about ourselves) That, then, generates a feeling based on our interpretation of the event, which often leads to Action, which of course generates a New Event for us to respond to1.

If I have lost you, please bear with me, and I’ll return to my story… So this blog is posted innocently next to mine, “Ahhh!” thinks I, “This means they think I am [fill in your own blank here ]” and that makes me feel [again fill in your own emotion]. So I go off and [whatever it is you go off and do] which of course may lead to repercussions and the loop starts again!

So… for those of you who have borne with me so far, and for those that I have lost, and for those who just want to hear the end of the story.. So, I felt unappreciated, and, eventually, I asked the person, who said this was nothing to do with me…. All a storm in a tea-cup. Except, when I talked to someone else, they were in the midst of the same cycle, only they felt stupid, instead of unappreciated. The key thing is, these feelings all come from within us. They are the voice of our own inner demons. We always interpret ‘stuff’ through our own filters, and we always come up with something that fits our own pattern. It is always, and must always be about us! However, that doesn’t make it true.

If you are in the midst of feeling bad about something someone else has done, then the remedy is within YOU. Which, by the way, is great, because you can do that. You can’t change them….

More on this tomorrow….

“What do we call love, hate, charity, revenge, humanity, forgiveness? Different results of the master impulse, the necessity of securing one’s self-approval.” – Mark Twain
“Our first and last love is… self-love.” Christian Nevell Bovee





8 Responses to “This blog is all about YOU!”

  1. carys says:

    I think you are talking about something with extraordiary potential for positive change. Not only do we let ourselves off the hook when we can take responsibility for the ‘lies’ we tell ourselves but we stop attacking all of ‘them out there’ (usually those closest to us) for making us feel so crap. Harmonious relationships, peace and joy in the home and workplace, and just think of all the precious energy we are no longer wasting which of course leads to greater opportunites to do all those little jobs round the house that one’s spouse has been mentioning… Heaven on earth!!

  2. And surely one of the biggest challenges we face as human beings. I think if we can dismantle this mechanism, or at least bring it into our conscious awareness then our lives will vastly enriched and happier….

  3. Great insight!

    One of the most freeing and empowering things we can do for ourselves is to recognise what we are feeling. We need to stop locking those emotions inside – churning them over again and again – making things bigger and bigger.

    When we dwell on negative emotions it usually leads to more disquieting thoughts and eventually it can even lead to physical illness.

    As a Mickel Therapist I work with people to help them overcome this very pattern, helping them to help themselves back to health. What I would love is for this understanding to be implemented by all – thereby leading to a much happier, and healthier population.

    Thanks for the Blog Richard.

    Luise Moffatt

  4. Luise,
    Thank you. How do you go about helping people to take this journey, if it is possible to describe such a complex thing simply?

  5. I know just what you’re on about Richard. What games we play! The beliefs you hold will always give you true feedback. I’m not talking about the beliefs that you think you hold or the beliefs that you ought to hold, but the beliefs that you really hold on a feeling level – they’re so close that they are a part of you. Part of your identity. So your ‘virtual’ experience of the blog feels the same as someone next to you in a queue talking negatively and loud enough so you can hear that it’s directed at you! But then it turns out that it’s not (he may like talking to himself). So what has happened is that there are some beliefs you hold about yourself that are self-critical and he’s just given those beliefs a whole load of ammunition/proof – but then you experience something else, it wasn’t an attack after all, which shows other beliefs at work too – they could be anything from self-appreciation – you do know what you’re talking about – to a belief that others might be a little ‘loopy’ – whatever, I don’t know. The final outcome depends on the belief that is held the strongest. There are no absolute truths – I think truth is an alignment of belief and reality.

    Great blog Richard.


  6. clare_e says:

    Very true Richard – I see this time and again – not just in the way I react but in the way other people react. I experienced this last weekend when something that happened was interpreted completely incorrectly by another person, because they were seeing the situation through their own filters and just couldn’t see it any other way.

    We can’t help it – it’s instinctive. Our filters are created from everything we learn as we develop – from our earliest experience. It colours much of what we do and how we behave. I’ve learnt to watch my reactions and how something someone says or does makes me feel. The feeling and initial reaction won’t change but the interpretion and what you then do with it can.

    It’s like saying “red mini” – now try not to think of a red mini or when you buy a new car – suddenly you’re much more aware of all those cars that are the same as yours. If your mind has been opened up to one way of thinking – that’s how you’re going to see the world – until you either expand your viewpoint or learn to take a different perspective.


  7. Clare

    Thanks for this. I agree our filters are very powerful, and strangely invisible. Becoming aware of them and their impact is the begining of wisdom and freedom!

  8. Hi Richard,

    It’s all to do with helping people to see what e-motions they are suppressing/depressing now or may have done in various times and situations in their lives. Helping them then by various ‘tools’ they can learn how to free themselves and act appropriately now.

    It honestly sounds like the simplist thing imaginable – but in all actuality it can be a difficult thing for folks to either want to do, or follow through on. Having said that once they do …the empowerment and more importantly, in the cases of those with physical illnesses – the return to health, is incredible.

    Because it is a relatively ‘new’ therapy, even as a Mickel Therapist, I find it is a difficult process to put in words (I’m comforted by the fact that even Dr Mickel finds it hard to describe it in a short paragraph!)

    More can be read about it on:;, and further reading in Dr David Mickel book: Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, ME and Fibromyalgia The Long Awaited Cure. ISBN 0-7552-0143-4

    I look forward to reading more expansion on your blog

    Luise Moffatt

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