6 Responses to “The only way to go… Favourite funeral songs”

1. Amanda Hamilton says:

   16 June , 2009 at 07:56

   I love the fact that people now think more deeply about how they’d like to say farewell to a loved one or even plan their own funerals with some colour, and even humour. My own father insisted that at his funeral we were to have a party and celebrate the MAN he had been as he would have celebrated ..

   I used to hand paint cardboard eco-coffins as exhibition pieces in the UK. As a result of that rather unusual activity, each year more and more people contact me for advice on how best to paint a unique, beautiful, hand painted coffin for a family member or friend. I love the idea of being buried or burned in a huge casket covered in brightly coloured flowers, or in my own watercolour paintings … how lovely that would be for the people who come to see me off, and no trees would be destroyed in the process either … If you’d like to see the handpainted coffins, you can click here : http://www.amanda-hamilton.com/eco-coffin.html

2. richardderwentcooke says:

   16 June , 2009 at 08:52

   Amanda,
   I couldn’t agree more. I find the whole model of the funeral business rather distasteful. When my dad dies the other year he wanted his remains given to medical science, so they could be used. We had a lovely ceremony celebrating who he was and how he had lived and planted a tree (rather than destroying one!)

   I wonder if some of the sorrow and bleakness could be designed out of funerals if we just shifted how we conduct them? Why not have parks filled with trees celebrating life rather than fileds full of stone memorialising death?

3. Jay Loftus says:

   16 June , 2009 at 09:37

   When our boy died in 2006 we went to one funeral directors and he was more then just insensitive he was saying we had to do it this way and that way because he knew best BUT was it his son’s funeral? NO!
   We wanted to remember the very short life he had in our way it was for us to send him of knowing he would be in a better place.

   We went to a strange but fantastic funeral directors in Wallesey and he understood and gave us choices left us to decide what was best.

   We choose a beautiful coffin, we designed our own flower arrangement with roses and we had a beautiful glass plaque engraved which was donated.

   We had Lonzie cremated in the local chapel and with regards to music we requested our own and we also requested everyone to stay outside until we where done as we wanted everything to be perfect for our little boy.

   The first song we played as the people where coming in was Dido’s “Here with me” and the song on the end was a first for the chapel and everyone that was in the chapel including the vicar. But as it was for our boy and it just said everything about who we are as a family and how we feel we chose “Become One” by Faithless. If you haven’t heard it yet I recommend you to listen very carefully to the words.

   I agree with you Richard all thought it is always a sad occasion there is always something good that can be taken from this. For me it was being brought to Jesus, I miss him more each day and I know he is in a place that we strife our whole life to get to and Lonzi is perfect that is why he’s is not here with us but where he belongs as an angel in heaven.

4. richardderwentcooke says:

   16 June , 2009 at 10:22

   Thank you Jay. I’m glad you were able to take control over something this important. It is an absolute expression of love and should fit with who you are and who they were. No one has a right to tell you what that should be. I’d pleased you have good memories of it and found comfort and strenght in a belief that sustains you.

   Best wishes

   Richard

5. Amanda Hamilton says:

   16 June , 2009 at 10:30

   That sounds lovely … I think a huge part of the problem in the UK is the way grief is simply not acknowledged, supported or handled in a way that makes this easy for people.

   So much is deeply tied up with the hideous loss factor, that it takes an act of great personal strength and courage to be able to think laterally about how to give a great send off.

   I like the idea of having a plan for my own funeral for my son to simply follow – it takes so much of the strain out of a horrible time.

   They have the right idea here in Spain – buried within 24 hours – no time to get too worked up, but plenty of time afterwards to contemplate and reflect.

6. richardderwentcooke says:

   16 June , 2009 at 10:45

   I’m incline to agree. The Jews also go for very quick burial. I think it is possible to separate what happens to the body and how you choose to remember and celebrate the life and passing of a loved one.

   My Father died of cancer and in as much as it is possible to do this well, he certainly did so and the whole family grew much closer over this period and it sustained us after he died.

   My big lesson was that one’s relationship with the person goes on. They are still part of my life and I don’t feel any differently about them, I just don’t get to see them.

   I want a tree planted and a bench put up somewhere I love to walk for others to enjoy the views I enjoy so much