Change & Stuff

We went to see Mamma Mia the movie yesterday and I have to say, despite not being an Abba fan, I loved it. It was a wonderful, joyous creation full of imagination, humour and creativity; a real celebration of life and the art of movie making. It was great to see three 50 something actresses having such a good time. For those of you who, like me, had no idea of the plot, a young girl is about to be married and wants to meet her dad. She has found her mother’s diary and has worked out that it could be one of three men who haven’t seen the mother for 20 years and she invites them all to her wedding. She naively believes that she will ‘know’ her father on sight, and of course does not. The film follows the consequences of this impulsive action.

It is interesting to examine this a little more deeply because what she has done is pull the cork out of the genie’s bottle and unleashed a force of chaos and randomness into her life. Regularly readers will recall the impact of this on my computer the other day. The thing is, both she and I thought we knew what we were doing, and once the sequence was initiated we rapidly lost control. In the movie, as is their wont, it all ended happily, real life can be somewhat messier. On the other hand if we try to retain control all the time then not only is life a little monotone, but we bar the door to serendipity. Periodically it is good to take a chance and do something that you can’t control, to surrender power to someone or something else, and then see where that takes you. Today might be a good day to take a chance…

“To fly as fast as thought, you must begin by knowing that you have already arrived.” Richard Bach

Sometimes life imitates art in a way that is truly scary. You know that moment in the horror film where the music changes and the camera angle tells you that something nasty is coming from behind, and you maybe shout at the screen “For God’s sake, don’t go out there!! Look behind you!!” So last night, having taken another, clean back-up of my operating system and programmes configured just the way I like it, I thought “Why don’t I have another go at creating that partition…” I even shelled out for the latest version of the partitioning software. Should have been a doddle; and even if it wasn’t, I could now recover in an hour or so…. [cue the spooky music ….]
This was around 7 pm, about an hour later I knew it wasn’t working. I had clicked something that that was interfering with my MBR file (this is like the front door lock for your computer, and without it you don’t get in.)

The next hour or so was spent restoring my MBR. I managed this okay. But like in the horror movie, each step towards apparent safety lures you deeper and deeper in to the swamp. So my horror story took me via somehow changing the drive letters so that the C drive was now the restore partition and the operating system sat on D. I could handle that …. NO I couldn’t! This meant that my backup software couldn’t now see my drives properly so I couldn’t restore to my safe copy. Around 2 am I decided that I was going to have to restore the machine to delivery condition in order to allow me get a clean disk to restore to. By 4am I knew that the restore partition was corrupted… I went to bed.

Never mind I have a 3 year warranty with those nice Dell people, they will help with the restore then I’ll be fine. So this morning I have spoken to 4 very friendly, very polite Orientals who were very helpful. They explained that due to some dispute about licensing with Microsoft et al that I was not able to get another copy of the delivery image. This is a little like losing you car handbook and Ford telling you that they won’t give you another one. So here I sit 3 hours later, I think I have restored my operating system, but my backup software (which worked perfectly 2 days ago) seems to be taking forever to offer me the chance to restore to my clean system image. [I think that music might be playing in the background round about now…]

I’ll let you know how this gothic tale ends up but the crazy thing is, even if I succeed in being back to where I need to be I still won’t have the partition that I want. Do I try a third time or should I leave well alone. As you settle down with your coke and popcorn, I’m thinking that you must be wondering how dumb one person can be…

PS>> The restore software is now telling me that in only 9 hours I’ll know if I get killed off or am the blood-soaked survivor

I think that the world probably divides into two sorts of folks, those who like to leave well alone if something is working, even if it isn’t quite perfect “It’s good enough isn’t it?“ and those who will take the same system and think “I could make this just a little bit better..” I have to admit to being a compulsive fiddler. I like things to work the way that works for me. So in the last month I have been ‘playing’ with 2 different laptops and managed to have to render both inoperable! Luckily, I was able to recover from both potential disasters without having too much grief. I guess this is one way of testing your disaster contingency plans… by precipitating the disaster: though it is a bit like testing your sprinkler system by setting fire to your house!

Some people are happier with self-induced change, others feel that Change will find them soon enough without going looking for it! A lot of people certainly feel safer when they have some degree of choice about the issue, and in a business environment giving choice wherever possible is an important element in engaging people. Some decisions need to be reserved for the ‘bosses’ but there are many non-crucial ones that are important to the staff and are neutral to the overall program. Allowing people this element of self-determination helps reduce resistance and usually improves the overall result. Also the more people you ask, the more likely you are to spot things that could go wrong, and to tap into hidden expertise and enthusiasm.

“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.” JK Rowling

I was having a conversation with my wife this morning that got me thinking about Lawn Bowls, an old and rather civilised English game that can trace its history by to the 12^th century, and craved into English history when Francis Drake claimed he had time to finish his game of bowls and then defeat the Spanish Armada. For those who have never played, you roll a very heavy ball down a very smooth lawn to try and hit another smaller ball called the jack. The art of the game is compensating for the fact that the balls have a small off-centre weight inside them called a bias, which makes it impossible to roll them in a straight line. If you watch this game played by skilled practitioners, you will be amazed by their skill in using this bias.

That got me thinking about our own biases, which of course we all have. The lawn bowlers, are very familiar with the bias of their bowls, but we often keep ours hidden from everyone including ourselves. We are always fair and objective aren’t we? The things is you can’t start winning at bowls till you familiarise yourself with and compensate for your own bias. I wonder if Life isn’t a bit like that too. Until we understand where our biases are, and accept that we need to ‘bowl’ a curved line to compensate for them we keep landing wide of our mark.

There are people we don’t like, places we don’t feel safe, activities we find challenging and all of this may well be based on sound reasons, but those same judgements and stories divert the path of our thinking just as surely as the little weight in the bowl. Be honest with yourself about these things, own them and share them and you maybe surprised just how directly you get where you want to go…. Good luck!

“To know the true reality of yourself, you must be aware not only of your conscious thoughts, but also of your unconscious prejudices, bias and habits.”

“He flattered himself on being a man without any prejudices; and this pretension itself is a very great prejudice” Anatole France

So day 2 on our trip, and we have another day with no agenda. Continental breakfast on the terrace, a route march up the hill to some World War 1 memorial, then down the coast to ‘real’ French town for more sitting around followed by a delicious lunch of moules & frites. By this stage my system had slowed down to a bear tick-over. We tried to get interested in some serious shopping in one of Calais duty-free style malls, but we couldn’t do it. Somehow, surrounded by folks pushing two or more trolleys the size of small vans, stuffed full of booze, we didn’t feel like it.

We arrived at the tunnel, hoping to hop on an earlier train, only to discover that there had been an ‘incident’ in the tunnel and our train was cancelled and in fact we ended waiting almost 2 hours in 34′c but somehow it didn’t matter. The strange thing was that by this stage I had no need to control anything any more ( a rare phenomenon) it is an interesting place to visit. So many of the messages we pick up these days are about focus, plan act! We need to occasionally balance things up with a little ‘letting go’. The thing is, when we let go, we allow others to take up the reins and express themselves. Maybe today is a good day to say “You decided… I don’t mind”

“If you surrender completely to the moments as they pass, you live more richly those moments.” Anne Morrow

We had a rather nice surprise trip to France yesterday. My walking buddy & his wife suggested relocating our weekly walk to the other side of the channel and my kids (Bless them!) arranged themselves to make it possible. Everyone made it very easy to say “Yes”. The only thing that we had to do was to get in the car. However, I notice that I find it easier to say “No” (and I suspect I am not alone in this) just because the suggestion is something different. A little voice says “I don’t do that kind of thing”, and low & behold… we don’t!

It is important and valuable to say “Yes” sometimes when Life offers us these opportunities as it gets us out of our ruts and deals the occasional wild card into our hands, and who knows what fruits we might reap from these. As I mentioned the other day, Change often grows from tiny seeds, so to paraphrase John Lennon, why don’t we all “Give Change a chance!”

Anyway, my reward for accepting this invitation was 2 days of sand and sea in a tiny seaside village near Calais, some great food and lovely company, a total break, and a real mini-holiday. If today you get the chance, try saying “Yes” to something different.

“The less routine the more life.” Amos Bronson Alcott

“All growth is a leap in the dark, a spontaneous, unpremeditated act without benefit of experience.” Henry Miller

Regular readers will recall the renovation of Cooke Towers has been a topic that has both occupied much of my attention of late and inspired a number of these blogs. It has taken a lot of time, energy and money to make it all this happen, and whether you are building a pyramid or refurbishing a kitchen, resources have to be organised, sequenced and accounted for. I have just been a little gob-smacked by how much time it has taken to get this to happen. I know this is no surprise to most of you, because you have been here before and no doubt think me a tad naïve to be surprised.

However, at the office we take on all sorts of projects that require a similar degree of organisation. They need time, money, space, bodies, energy, imagination, commitment and a whole lot more, but how many get this? How often do we either lob a ‘little’ project at someone without giving these things due consideration and then we are surprised when it never quite works out the way we hoped.

If you aren’t prepared to resource a Change, then you would be far wiser just keeping schtum and walking on by. If on the other hand it is important to you, commit to it.

“A project is complete when it starts working for you, rather than you working for it.” Scott Allen

“It takes half your life before you discover life is a do-it-yourself project.” Napoleon Hill

Yesterday, my son and I spent the best part of 5 hours assembling our new garden furniture.  ‘Attach bar A to frame B with K,L, &N..’   Apart from needing to reverse the odd bit and go out and buy some missing bolts, we done pretty good.  However, despite illustrations, labels and instructions, I always struggle to get these things to come out right.

Unfortunately Life comes with no instructions, no illustrations and no labels. We have to put it together despite all this.  We have three young adults who are currently working out what that means for them, but I well remember being little clearer than they are when I was mid-career.  Luckily I did find my way, but Life comes with no Satnav.  So how do we work out how the various bits fit together?

Well it helps to have a plan, but I think it is even more important to listen to out inner voice about what feels right.  In real life (luckily!) bit A doesn’t have to slot into bit B, it just has to work for us.  Put it together as best you can and if it isn’t working, try something a bit different until it feels right to you.

“Plan out your life on paper but live your life by your heart”  Warren DeMike

“Like a clock whose hands are sweeping
Past the minutes on it’s face
And the world is like an apple
Whirling silently in space
Like the circles that you find
In the windmills of your mind”  Michel Legrand

I awoke this morning with these lyrics circling in my head; so not so surprisingly,I start thinking about all the circles that affect our lives.  We live on the third rock for the sun, revolving at 1000mph, which itself orbits a bigger rock at a rate of 67,000 mph, and our whole solar system is also rushing through space at 200km per second! 

If we think about our lives they really are made up of series of patterns we keep repeating, where we shop, where we work, who we see, and the things we do.  It is true that some of us have more variation in our patterns than others, but we all play out these routines.  Obviously they serve a valuable purpose as they save us time, and keep us safe.  However, they also keep us locked up inside a tiny space.

One of the things I love when I am walking is when either we get lost (which is just a way of saying being somewhere you hadn’t intended to be and are not familiar with) or deliberately take an unknown path.  These little forays always open up new vistas and unlock all sorts of new possibilities, and also complete and fill out my mental map.

The Delai Lama recognised the value of Change in out lives in his Tips for Life.  I would suggest is that we recognise the importance of introducing a little space into our lives, by allowing in something new, something we don’t already control. These little cosmic ‘wild cards’ are the very seeds of Change.  Can I challenge you today to do something different, to break a habit, even if it is only as tiny as to wear your watch on the other wrist?

“Round, like a circle in a spiral
Like a wheel within a wheel.
Never ending or beginning,
On an ever spinning wheel
Like a snowball down a mountain
Or a carnival balloon
Like a carousel that’s turning
Running rings around the moon”

Today I got round to setting up security on our home network (at long last!)  Theoretically easy but fiddly when you are dealing with 3 operating systems and multiple machines and wifi cards.  I had to try multiple combinations before I found a setting that worked reasonably on them all.  For those of you who are even less technical than me it works by sharing a code key between the router and the computers. This allows them to unscramble the meaning of the data they are exchanging.

It seemed to me that in groups of people there are similar exchanges whereby you need the key to really understand what is being said.  We sometimes use this system to exclude strangers, kids do it to parents all the time!  The trouble is that where as PCs know that they don’t have the right key and tell you, people just nod and allow you to carry on transmitting in the hope they will unscramble your meaning.  You leave thinking that you have just communicated with them, but they are are far less clear.I often find that this kind of scrambled communication is at the root of many of the problems I deal with.

So if it is important, take the time to make sure that they received the message that you think you transmitted….

“The single biggest problem in communication is the illusion that it has taken place.”    George Bernard Shaw