Hints and tips: Dealing with awkward people–Tip 4

A pair of psychologists called Alan A. Cavaiola, PhD, and Neil J. Lavender, PhD surveyed more than 1,100 employees and captured their thoughts in a book called “Toxic Co-workers: How to Deal with Dysfunctional People on the Job”.  This is the forth in a series of short blogs with  tips based on their work.

4.  Recognise your Triggers:  We all have things that drive us crazy, or things which we find hard to tolerate.  Again, we need to not only know ourselves but take ownership of these responses.  If we would never miss a deadline, then we tend to view those who do so poorly; if we always greet everyone with a cheery “Good Morning”, we may feel slighted if others fail to do so.  Who is right and wrong in this step is irrelevant; the advice here is is to note who / what tends to provoke these responses and to ensure that you don’t speak from an irate, judgemental place.  They will feel attacked and thus use their energy and attention to defend themselves rather than listening.  If I can put my point over in a non-aggressive manner, then the other person is much more likely to engage with me and consider the value of what I am saying (this is another Aikido principle in action.)

The rest of this series:

1. Tip 1
2. Tip 2
3. Tip 3

This entry was posted on Thursday, February 5th, 2015 at 08:00 and is filed under Hints, Tips & Techniques. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.