Why 5 Y’s can be wise

The other day I was reminded of a technique I learned at the very beginning of my facilitation journey.  I suspect I mastered it in my childhood.  I was always the little boy that wanted to know Why?  My partner still (occasionally) gets annoyed when I revert to type.  I still like to know why.  The thing is it is easy to be fobbed off with the first answer you are given and it rarely reveals much truth.  In our fast paced world, it is easy to ask and settle for the first thing thrown your way, but I’d encourage you to dig a little deeper, but first a health warning.  If you don’t do this with sincerity and a transparent desire to help, you are likely to annoy the hell out of the other person.  Don’t be mechanical in your use of this technique.

This is a technique the Japanese espoused, it is asking why five times.  It goes something like this:- 

   1. Why are you upset?   Because James shouted at me…

   2.  Why do you think he did that?  Because he was cross with me.

   3.  Why would you think he was cross with you?  Because I didn’t finish the report he asked for

   4.   Why didn’t you  finish the report?    I didn’t have time as I had to check Mike’s numbers three times

   5.   Why did you have to check his numbers?    Because he doesn’t get his data in the same format from each client and he       tends to make mistakes

You can see how it might go… if you stop at the first level you are just dealing with emotions, after a few more iterations you have a number of issues to explore.  I learnt many years ago in the Samaritans to not accept the first reason that a client gave for ringing.  As male pre-programmed to provide solutions it is so easy to do this, but just sticking with it and delving deeper almost always reveals more, sometimes not only to you but also to the other person.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 3rd, 2016 at 11:00 and is filed under Communication, Hints, Tips & Techniques. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.