Boundaries

I got drawn into a domestic fracas the other day between a parent at the end of their tether and a distraught teenager.  The teenager was absolutely hell-bent on a course of action which was all-consuming; the parent had no more to give.  “Why?!?” asked the teenager to every single point, and “But..”

Being the child of parent who was in the army and had been given an old-fashioned education, I was used to being told “Because I say so!”  Now that isn’t a particularly satisfactory response, but one recognised that it was a final one.  There were never any threats, but it was crystal clear that was the end of it.

These days it seems quite common to find that youngsters don’t have any sense of this kind of boundary, and whilst I absolutely admire a creative response to over-coming problems, the fact is that in Life, at work, and at home there are all sorts of things we just have to accept.  It is never fun, and whilst it might not be good for the soul, it is part of growing up.  We live within multiple systems which impose their rules and expectations on us.  I strongly suspect that the move from home into the work place is much tougher without understanding this basic reality.

Our boundaries, to some extent, define us, and the way we handle them, and negotiate when we reach them is a key skill.  How do we stay open, and yet know when is the right time to back down or step out?  On the other hand stepping beyond our self imposed boundaries is the root to growth.

“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.”

Tags: boundaries, Change, limitations

This entry was posted on Tuesday, September 2nd, 2008 at 16:18 and is filed under Personal Change. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.