HOW TO SAY “NO” … without appearing negative

Last week, I was asked by a client who runs a service function how to say “NO”, without appearing negative, unresponsive to customer needs, or unwilling. It is a good question, and it was brought to mind by another blog I was reading yesterday (“Because you say Yes”). This is quite a common way to get ourselves into trouble. As a result of saying “Yes”, when we shouldn’t we end up:-

• Stressed, if we didn’t have the time or proper resources
• Stressed, if we don’t really know how to do it
• Stressed, if we were really not willing to do this
• Disappointing those people we ought to please if we let them down
• Disappointing others if we are now not able to meet their needs
• Depleted, if we have somehow worked the miracle and pleased everyone
• Up against false expectations of what we are willing and able to do next time (we have now created a precedent)

Before saying “NO”, explore with them why they are asking for this, understand what they want to achieve. Listen to them and ask questions.

So, it is perfectly fine to say “NO”:-

• And explain why you can’t (or don’t wish) to do this. You should explain it in language, and using criteria, that mean something to them
• And tell what you can do
  • It maybe they are asking for something complex, when you have a simple solution
• Not now, but tell them when you are able to do it
  • A variation on this if they are already someone you are doing work for, is to offer them a choice of which of their requests you met and let them prioritise them for you. If it is a colleague, then you can suggest going to your mutual customer / boss and letting them decide the priorities
  • You may even need to ask them to have this conversation at another time, so you can give it due consideration
• Unless the required additional resources are provided, at which time you will say “Yes”
• Unless the scope, timing or time frames are altered

More people will accept a well delivered “No” than we fear, and there are usually multiple ways for them to resolve their issue, so don’t lose your focus, and your control over carefully establish priorities for the sake of one little word.

“The art of leadership is saying no, not saying yes. It is very easy to say yes.” Tony Blair

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 16th, 2008 at 08:38 and is filed under Hints, Tips & Techniques. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.