Grieving is a process that happens when you lose something or someone.  I leant about the stages of this when I trained as a change facilitator as people do grieve for the things they left behind in a the course of Change.  Dr. Elizabeth Kubler-Ross described it as a five stage process:-

1. Denial
2. Anger
3. Bargaining
4. Depression
5. Acceptance

Well regular readers know that I know have personal experience of loss and I have to tell you that after 5 months and a little reflection that the real experience is much messier than this (or any other) models suggest. 

After my holiday I feel further back along this road in terms of emotions although the model might suggest I’m making progress.    It feels these stages are more like a piano keyboard that you wander up and down, sometimes going through several steps in a day.

I learnt today that bereavement comes from old English and means literally to be robbed.  I felt that this original meaning gives much insight into the reality of the experience.  You feel robbed of your dreams, your expectations, your future… 

I feel we have all coped ever so well with our loss but I have a friend who reminds me that the stone on top of a wall is referred to as the coping stone and its job is to cover the wall and protect the base.  Some times coping gets in the way of healing.

Whether you are dealing with loss of a job, or a role or a loved one, it is a complex and lonely path one walks, no matter what help is offered.  Accepting help is not easy or simple and it has to be offered at the right time, in the right way by the right person to be acceptable.