Posts Tagged ‘but’

Every A*sehole needs a but…

Saturday, August 30th, 2008

I wrote the other day about the use of the word “But” and its power to do harm.  The thing is, we seem to feel the need to vent, and that is a valid and natural consequence of letting things build up, rather than dealing with things as they arise.  Too often, rather than speaking up and saying what we feel, or asking for what we need, or speaking our truths we will either keep silent or toss off an “It doesn’t matter” and so the bitterness begins to build.

If we didn’t bottle, if we just spoke our truths at the time, before we began to feel resentful, then perhaps we would avoid dumping on others, which whilst it relieves the pressure, seldom is the best way to build relationships.  So today might be a good day for you to be a little braver about saying what you want / need / feel and seeing what magic might flow…

“The most effective way to achieve right relations with any living thing is to look for the best in it, and then help that best into the fullest expression.”

But…

Sunday, August 24th, 2008

What an interesting little word this is.  I would think that we all use it every day but seldom pause to consider its potential impact.  It is a little modifying conjunction that tells the person that the first part of the sentence does not contain the full message.  “She is a nice girl but…”  or “He is a good worker but…”We all know that what comes next can having a damning impact. Think of how differently we might complete these sentences if the last word were ‘and’.

Clearly like all words ‘but’ has its place and purpose.  However, sometimes we could, and perhaps should, reconstruct our sentences to remove this little verbal land-mine.

Interestingly, there is an old English meaning of this word with French roots that means target (as in archery butts), sometimes this meaning feels a lot closer to the truth…

“Know your limits, but never accept them.

The top of the hill is but the bottom of another mountain.