I was reminded yesterday in my personal life of an approach I use often in my work one.  As my job requires me to instigate and support Change, I will often suggest that meetings be held away from the workplace, and wearing different clothes.  Breaking these moulds can enable and facilitate new and different ways to communicate and think.  In themselves they are small things, but they are also powerful anchors to our habitual ways of thinking, being and talking.

As my family members each find our own ways forward from my wife’s death, we are all trying to find our way and adapt our roles within the family grouping.  I recently broke the news to the family that I had met someone special enough that I wanted them to know about her and not surprisingly this ‘hand grenade’ caused all sorts of shockwaves.  How do you even begin to discuss something as radical as someone new entering our intimate family circle, especially after what happened?

At home, we, like most families fall into well trodden groves and habits and that can get in the way of this kind of conversation.  So it is with real pleasure that I found when I met my eldest in town for tea and a chat that we began communicating in a much more unfettered way and discussing allsorts of interesting topics.  I certainly don’t think that this issue has been resolved but by creating new patterns of talking and listening it is easier to explore these dangerous new ideas.

“A good quartet is like a good conversation among friends interacting to each other’s ideas.”   Stan Getz

“A pas de deux is a dialogue of love. How can there be conversation if one partner is dumb?”   Rudolf Nureyev