Posts Tagged ‘freedom’

Choice… is it a good thing?

Wednesday, June 10th, 2009

I, and suspect many of you feel this too, tend to really value my ability to choose.  Free will is deeply enshrined in our social systems and even though these days much of this freedom is illusory, we treasure it.

Yesterday I went to a talk on Behavioural Economics, which is the study of why we make our buying decisions.  However, it touched on some deeper issues, like why do we choose to preserve freedoms even when they doesn’t make us happy.  Just think of the happily married man, with a lovely wife and children who is serially unfaithful.  He has no desire to wreck his happy home or harm the people he loves but keeps exercising that old right to choose… 

He quoted from an experiment with MIT, where students (all very clever chaps), were asked to make a series of choices with aim of maximising their ‘profit’ from this exercise.  Each choice cost them points, and won them variable amounts of money.  The fascinating thing was that even when they were told that limiting their options would make them more money, they still couldn’t resist keeping them open.

I wonder how often in life we delay a choice, wondering if something better may come along, only to miss out in the end.  Apparently, not only may ‘a bird in the hand be worth two in the bush’ but the bird we have may make us happier too!

This kind of behaviour goes very deep, but it is always a good idea to remind ourselves what we are trying to achieve before making, or delaying, a decision; and asking what the cost and potential benefit of doing so is…

Do you have any stories about preserving choices and getting bitten in the bum?

 “There are always two choices. Two paths to take. One is easy. And its only reward is that it’s easy.”

“It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.”  Joanne Kathleen Rowling

 

Fireworks & Remembrance

Sunday, November 9th, 2008

Last night we were surrounded by huge bonfires and a sky full of fireworks celebrating the death of Guy Fawkes and the failure of his plot to blow-up Parliament, to win freedom for the Catholics.  Today we commemorated the dead of two world wars who died amongst much more deadly explosions to ensure our freedom.  History is full of examples of people trying to win  freedom for one group at the expense of another. 

The thing is that freedom can never really be given or taken by another, as Viktor Frankl observed “Everything can be taken from a man but … the last of the human freedoms – to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances, to choose one’s own way.”  And he tested this in the extreme crucible of Auschwitz. 

We have so many reasons for not doing things that we justify dwelling in a virtual prison of our own making.  Perhaps today is a good day to consider removing a brick or two from the walls we have built and asking ourselves what is really stopping us from doing what we feel drawn to, and living our lives to the full.

Majorcan Blog No 8:

Sunday, June 29th, 2008

Some of the trees in the garden are over grown with purple bindweed, or columbine. The colour is absolutely exquisiteite and it always draws my eye. I find it odd that something so fabulous could be considered a weed; I’d happily plant it at home if it would grow there.

It is odd, when you think of it, that we name some plants ‘weeds’ and others not. I guess ‘weed’ is just another label we use. Odder though, as my sister pointed out, that when we use it as an insult it implies weak, but in truth, weeds are strong and grow where they choose, not where they are planted. They are free spirits, rather than tethered and controlled. I think, on balance, I’d rather be a weed than a plant…

Zero expectations

Sunday, May 25th, 2008

I had a good day, yesterday.  I woke very early and feeling well rested, got up and set about a series of small clearing-up type jobs, which one normally puts off, but make you feel very virtuous once done.  The sun was shining, and I felt we owed it to ourselves to escape the mess and go somewhere nice for lunch.  So we went to a local pub, and sat out in the garden, stream running through it, and had a nice lunch.  My sister mentioned she had a dvd that she hadn’t yet watched and knew nothing about; did we want to pop over and watch it?

Clearly we couldn’t have had less information or expectations about it.  We knew the name of a couple of the actors, that was it, though neither were huge ‘names’.  To cut a long story short, it was fantastic, just perfect for us.  A lovely English movie,  a little akin to “Four weddings & a funeral”, but totally original.  We had to pause it at times to stop laughing!

Had we been given the kind of build up I’m now giving you, perhaps it would have been less special.  So as we drove off, I reflected on the joy of unexpected pleasures like this.  It is true of our relationships, and our experiences.  If we are able to go into them unburdened by expectations, ours or anyone else’s we tend to have a better experience.  I wonder how you deal with this issue, and where perhaps you find that expectations just constantly get in the way.

PS>>  I have deliberately not mentioned the title, so you can enjoy it the way I did, but should you really want to know, I have linked it below.

“Life is so constructed that an event does not, cannot, will not, match the expectation.”  Charlotte Bronte

“Unhappiness is best defined as the difference between our talents and our expectations.”  Edward de Bono

Resources:

  1. Here it is

You Must

Saturday, April 26th, 2008

must

  • modal verb (past
had to or in reported speech must) 1 be obliged to; should. 2 expressing insistence. 3 expressing an opinion about something that is very likely.

  • noun
informal something that should not be overlooked or missed.

  — ORIGIN Old English.

I woke up this morning feeling better rested than I have all week, the sun was shining, and I awoke to an empty day. I lay there contemplating what it might offer, and then that little phrase “I must…” started to swirl round my brain. I decided that for my own sanity, that today was no day for ‘musts’, “I assert my right to ignore you!” I cried (silently.)

It occurred to me as I lay there in a blissful moment of silence and sunshine that our lives can so easily be taken over by these little voices demanding our attention. I know that all adults have things that they need to get done. Hopefully some us have made choices in our lives that we are happy with that also have consequences; things like kids and jobs. However, we do have much more freedom that we normally tend to exercise, and I would contend that it is in these little ‘clearings’ that we really live.

So I formally declare today World Mustless Day, and I offer you its freedom to step into and enjoy…

 

True Freedom?

Thursday, March 20th, 2008

I don’t know what brought it to mind, but this morning I was recalling seeing a TV programme some years ago about a young French rock climber. She used to climb with no equipment, and no rope; this is called free soloing. I have never seen anything so scary or so inspiring! She was totally fearless, and moved with a natural grace and power that was incredible. She hung by her finger tips, a thousand feet in the air. I don’t think I have ever seen, nor can I imagine, anyone more free.

Now I realise that fear has an evolutionary value and there are times when it is right and appropriate to be afraid. However I suspect that most of us have it ‘riding pillion’ on our lives most of the time, holding us back and keeping us hidden. If no one can see us, then they can’t get us, can they? This is a bit like belonging to a football team who never plays any matches to avoid losing.

Fear is the single biggest barrier to change in business; it is probably the mankind’s greatest challenge too. What will I do today to take me out of my comfort zone? Who will I dare show the real me? Will I tell them what I really think and feel? Dare I ask for what I really want?

Watch this and perhaps walk a little freer today

“Fear is that little darkroom where negatives are developed.” Michael Pritchard