Posts Tagged ‘knowing’

The danger of knowing what is best…

Wednesday, December 9th, 2015

A company I know has a leader who has a vision of where they need to go to survive the threats that the economy and competition pose.  I am quite prepared to accept his analysis;  I believe most of his team are too.  So what could possibly go wrong and why is he facing difficulties in getting them to do what is required?

As usual with change, it all starts with communication.  The things they are not telling him, the things that he isn’t hearing and those they can’t discuss.  If you feel that a person doesn’t want to hear what you have to say or feel, then you subconsciously find another way to get the message over.  It maybe by withdrawing intimacy, by withdrawing co-operation or by pursuing your own version of what is right. 

When there are a number of people who feel similarly ‘not heard’ then factions develop and problems arise.  In effect, they take their toys and go home; the team is no longer and you just have a group of bodies inhabiting the same space. 

The only way out is to get the communication flowing again, you have to over-emphasize what you are doing to ensure that they know you have ‘got it’.  You have to act on whatever you have agreed or promised to rebuild trust.  Stephen Covey wrote about the idea of the Emotional Bank account, which I like.  The idea is that the good things you do make deposits in your account of goodwill, and the negative (or more accurately their view of what is negative) actions make withdrawals.  This being Life, the rules are not fair, and you can work for ages to build a small amount of trust and one ‘bad’ action can wipe out the entire balance with the statement “Here (s)he goes again!”  It is tough, it is frustrating but it is the only way.

Good luck…

“I don’t know”… Time to listen to your inner expert?

Friday, September 18th, 2009

The other night I was lying there, half awake, half asleep, having one of those drifting conversations with myself, and the answer to every question seemed to be “I don’t know..”  I wasn’t totally surprised but it didn’t leave me feeling very good about myself.  After all I’m meant to be something of an expert, people pay me to know things! 

The other day I was working with a client and we had a difficult session scheduled, we had to design a key meeting with very little time to do so.  Then our meeting was cancelled and and it all had to be done over the phone.  There was very little time for rework, and rabbits definitely needed to be pulled out of hats.  However, I still had the legacy of my late night conversation lingering in my head. 

We began our call, and he was talking away, and suddenly he said something.  It was almost as if it was spoken in a bold, oversized font.  Suddenly, it all fell into place and I knew exactly what needed doing.  This experience didn’t particularly surprise me but none-the-less it was still a powerful one.  I’m always impressed when I meet people who are able to trot out facts, figures and specifics; my brain doesn’t work that way.  However, it does seem to conjure ideas out of the ether when they are needed.  The rest of the time it seems rather vacant…

These days we are all used to experts & pundits being produced by TV and radio, telling us what has happened and what to do.  I think perhaps we need to be reminded that we can all tap into a rather high wisdom if only we take the time to listen.  I’m sure you have had this kind of experience too and would love to hear about them.  What do you think, is it time to listen to your inner expert?

“Experts often possess more data than judgment.”   Colin Powell

“Even when the experts all agree, they may well be mistaken.”   Bertrand Russell