The moral of the story is… Look for the 18th horse

My brother Quentin, shared this story with me and I thought it worth sharing:-

“A farmer died leaving his 17 horses to his three sons.

When his sons opened up the Will it read:

My eldest son should get 1/2 (half) of total horses;
My middle son should be given 1/3rd (one-third) of the total horses;
My youngest son should be given 1/9th (one-ninth) of the total horses.
For those of you paying attention…… ½ of 17 = 8.5 horses, 1/3 of 17 = 5.66 horses, 1/9 of 17 = 1.88 horses = for a grand total of 16.04 horses

As it’s impossible to divide 17 into half or 17 by 3 or 17 by 9, the three sons started to fight with each other.
So, they decided to go to a farmer friend who they considered quite smart, to see if he could work it out for them.

The farmer friend read the Will patiently, after giving due thought, he brought one of his own horses over and added it to the 17.
That increased the total to 18 horses.

Now, he divided the horses according to their fathers Will.

1/2 of 18 = 9. So he gave the eldest son 9 horses.
1/3rd of 18 = 6. So he gave the middle son 6 horses.
1/9th of 18 = 2. So he gave the youngest son 2 horses.

Now add up how many horses they have:
Eldest son…9 which is more than the 8.50 that the father intended
Middle son…6 which is more than the 5.66 that the father intended
Youngest…2 which is more than the 1.88 that the father intended
TOTAL IS…17

Now this leaves one horse over, so the farmer friend takes his horse back to his farm.
Problem Solved!

Moral:
The attitude of negotiation and problem solving is to find the 18th horse i.e. the common ground.
Once a person is able to find the 18th horse the issue is resolved. It is difficult at times.
However, to reach a solution, the first step is to believe that there is a solution.
If we think that there is no solution, we won’t be able to reach any!”

I’d take this a step further and say that you not only have to believe there is a solution but also that it is worth finding.  The solution has to be a win:win one otherwise it will only be temporary.  This means that you have to value the relationship and or person enough to keep exploring until there is one that works for both parties.  One barrier to finding a solution, is if you are invested in the current situation or impasse.  We have all met people who are martyrs and need to have a reason why their lives suck, or people who need someone to blame for their failures.  Sometimes, the 18th horse has to be looked for and isn’t necessarily brought round by some friendly neighbour.  However, one ‘trick’ is recognising the value of friendly ‘neighbours’ and making it clear that you would value some input, perspective and assistance.

I’d be interested in your examples of finding the 18th horse, so please do share them.

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 27th, 2014 at 14:49 and is filed under Communication, Hints, Tips & Techniques, Personal Change. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.