» Personal Blog

We are now 50 weeks from Carys’s death, and the anniversary is looming large on our horizon.  I find several thoughts coming to me at this time.  Firstly, and somewhat ironically, is a reflection on the Jewish burial customs & rites of the dead.  As as race that comes from hot climes, they bury their […][...] read more » Life giveth and taketh…

Sitting in a Costa Coffee in an anonymous Surrey mall nursing a half-finished  coffee, watching a parade of young mums pushing buggies in and out and I was aware of feeling suddenly sad.  At another time, I might have felt something very different.  I realised that there was nothing in what was happening that was […][...] read more » It’s all a matter of interpretation

I went for a walk in a local spot that which has the interesting distinction of being incredibly marshy and also cover with huge areas of sand.  This place has more different species of dragonflies than anywhere else in the country, and was so sandy that polar explorers used it to train as the best […][...] read more » “The best-laid schemes o’ mice an’ men Gang aft agley”

I was writing to a friend today and sharing some thoughts on the difficulty of breaking out of my virtual ‘egg’ and starting over.  What am I meant to be doing with my time and my life these days?  Who am I now that I’m no longer half a partnership.  Like all parents, we had […][...] read more » A Personal Update: Role and Identity… which comes first?

Never say Life doesn’t have a sense of irony and timing.  This morning I had ear-marked as my day to make a ‘new start’; the day I was going to knuckle down and begin to get the business ramped-up after a necessarily quiet year last year (regular reasons will be familiar with the back story […][...] read more » Rivers of sh*t… or deep in the doodos!

I love this picture (sent to me by a friend) as beautifully visual way to think about the way that things can be washed away, and fresh starts made.  As regular readers will know, 2010 was just about as tough a year as anyone could imagine for the Cooke clan.  Xmas, I’m happy to report, […][...] read more » Out with the Old…

I think that one of the most profound lessons I have learnt over the last 9 months since Carys’s passing has been that when you lose someone that each person experiences and processes that loss very differently.  I am aware that setting it down like this it seems a statement of the obvious (and perhaps […][...] read more » We all walk a singular path…

Last weekend I was trekking along the South Downs Way, which is a long distance footpath in the South of England.  We walked from Winchester to South Harting some 32 miles in a couple of days.  Hardly a marathon performance but the furthest I’ve walk and the first time carrying a backpack.  We were blessed […][...] read more » Baggage

Yesterday was another landmark day for us all at Cooke Towers, our youngest took his first steps into the world and went to Uni. It was somehow very different from when my eldest went some four years ago.   When we left her, the two of us drove home.  The house still had four of us […][...] read more » Now we are Three

For those loyal readers who have been following my story, I thought I’d let you know that on Saturday, the big day arrived when I got my license back, so I can, once more, re-enter the world of self-transporting adults… a very BIG day for me!  The first place I drove to was the newly […][...] read more » On the Road Again