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It’s all a matter of interpretation

Sitting in a Costa Coffee in an anonymous Surrey mall nursing a half-finished  coffee, watching a parade of young mums pushing buggies in and out and I was aware of feeling suddenly sad.  At another time, I might have felt something very different.  I realised that there was nothing in what was happening that was intrinsically emotionally charged, it was just the places it took me to that triggered these responses.  This generally true too, most things,   are emotionally neutral but can trigger powerful emotional responses. 

This is something we need to remember when working with Change; sometimes we get unexpected responses to what is said or suggested and this can be because of the listener’s own internal wiring has added a very different flavour & meaning to our content.  It is a fundamental facet of communication that meaning is something overlaid onto content.

So, if you get an unexpected response to your message, it’s time to explore and listen and to avoid making assumptions and judgements (which is the usual response!)

“The meaning of your communication is the response you get.”   NLP Precept

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This entry was posted on Thursday, January 20th, 2011 at 16:24 and is filed under Communication, Hints, Tips & Techniques, Personal Blog, Personal Change. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

4 Responses to “It’s all a matter of interpretation”

  1. Juanita says:
    20 January , 2011 at 19:53

    Oh Richard this is SO true. We do need to be so careful with our words and understand that there is power behind everything that we say. Ultimately, however, the messages (verbal or non-verbal) are interpreted by the Receiver’s filters.

    Essentially we have to be ready for any type or reponse 🙂

  2. richardderwentcooke says:
    20 January , 2011 at 19:58

    Absolutely… the trick is to remember that this applies to all of us and not just our clients! It can be challenging especially when it is close to home

  3. Ruth Edwards says:
    21 January , 2011 at 10:49

    RIchard you are an amazing advocate of embracing change (despite the pain you have felt and will continue to feel)

    I can say that absolutely because I have witnessed you offline work through this last year.

    What you have contributed in your blogs since then is definitely a book in the making – you have left a poignant crumb trail for an inevitable but nevertheless excruciatingly painful journey we will all experience at some time in our lives.

    So, what do you think? I will nag you!

  4. richardderwentcooke says:
    21 January , 2011 at 10:51

    Thank you for your very kind comments (and friendship!) I’d welcome your input (and help) I’d love to do it and do love the idea that this might actually help others too

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