Posts Tagged ‘asking for what you want’

It is worth asking for what you want

Friday, January 22nd, 2010

Regular readers will remember that we had the kitchens in Cook Towers refurbished some time ago, and this was accompanied by a wholesale  replacement of our pots, pans etc.  Much to the chef’s dismay, we discovered that both sets of new pans have started to lose their coating /surface.  It caused some distress as we had hoped that they would last us for many years. 

Our initial reaction was to curse and do little constructive; next came resignation (“They’ll never exchange it..”)  One of the sets was purchased over the net and there was no contact information, the other came from a store that had since ceased to trade.  Clearly the Gods were messing with us…

Then, the other day, I looked online and found a number for the first one.  They were heavy cast iron pans and it was going to cost a fortune to post them back.  However I talked to a lovely lady and she only asked for some photos; the next day she told us she was sending out brand new ones.  For the other set I called another dealer and explained our problem and they gave me the manufacturer’s number and said they were very helpful.  Another nice lady called me back and once again requested photos.  I explained that not only was the coating coming off but the handles were unsafe, and that if possible, we’d prefer their other design.  Whilst this has not been finalised yet, I am confident that it will be satisfactorily resolved. 

It is a great lesson in the power of asking for what you want and not listening to that disempowering little voice in your head which tells you they will never give it to you and you are wasting your time.  I’m a big believer in giving feedback and it is great to have it so well received. 

Sometimes you just need to ask….

“Living with integrity means: Not settling for less than what you know you deserve in your relationships. Asking for what you want and need from others. Speaking your truth, even though it might create conflict or tension. Behaving in ways that are in harmony with your personal values. Making choices based on what you believe, and not what others believe.”   Barbara De Angelis

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Asking for what you want

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

I had a lovely example of the power of this simple, but oh so powerful, act.  My younger daughter decided about a year ago that she needed a newer car and invested all her savings in a lovely little Corsa.  She seems very in tune with her vehicle and notices all sort of little things that more experienced drivers might miss.  When she had had it only a couple of months she said that she thought there was a problem getting the car into gear.  I drove it and spotted no problems, but suggested she get the dealer to check it whilst it was under warranty.  He declared it fine too.  A few weeks ago it turned out that she had been right all along and the car had a serious problem and she couldn’t get it in 2nd gear at all.  The linkage was broken and resulted in an expensive little bill she could ill afford. 

The car had only had a  3 month warranty and was 9 months out of it.  I suggested she tell the dealer what happened and see how he responded.  She couldn’t see the point of this.  None-the-less, I thought it worth a try and called him as I had thought him to be a ‘decent’ guy.  He asked me to send them the bill and he would do what he could.  Today I got a call back and he said that his boss had agreed to refund her £150, which made a significant difference to her finances.

So many of us feel that we can’t or won’t get given what we ask for and defend ourselves by not even asking .  There can be big pay-offs for daring to tell the World what we want.  Why not tell someone today what you want…

“You can’t ask for what you want unless you know what it is. A lot of people don’t know what they want or they want much less than they deserve. First you have figure out what you want. Second, you have to decide that you deserve it. Third, you have to believe you can get it. And, fourth, you have to have the guts to ask for it.”  Barbara De Angelis

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