Posts Tagged ‘communications failure’

Communication breakdown?

Sunday, May 24th, 2009

From time to time, we all find ourselves in situations where we a suffering from a communications breakdown.  I don’t imagine it means very much unless it happens to you all the time.  However, I had to ask myself what I could do recently when I found myself in this situation.

I decided that there really was only one way forward; to simply state what it was I felt and what I wanted.  After all, I’m an expert on these aspects of the situation.  We can debate so called ‘facts’, but no one can tell us how we feel.  If I’m prepared to be honest about these things, and also encourage the other parties to do likewise, and listen to them we have a ‘map’ of what is and a sense of what might be possible.  This is a good place to start from as it not only does away with speculation, but it also builds a little trust which makes subsequent steps easier to take.

What ways have you found in breaking through this impasse?  What has worked for you?

Ninety-nine percent of all problems in communications start with misunderstandings which develop as a result of differing viewpoints and conditioning.

I can’t communicate..

Monday, May 12th, 2008

We always take for granted those things and those people in our lives that never let us down. We turn on the tap everyday and out comes clean, safe water; we don’t stop to thank God, we just let it run down the drain. Regular electricity supplies (but don’t get me started on our local company!), petrol, food everything we need!

Well the Universe has decided to generate a little more gratitude in the Cooke household by playing Silly S*ds with our broadband connection. It is amazing how crazy you get when suddenly the rest of the world is cut off! How do you fix it, when you can’t go to the net and ping off an email or research the supplier’s site, or look for helpful articles from fellow suffers?

However, this on-again, off-again communication we are currently enjoying, is not so dissimilar from many relationships. Periodically you just find that apparently the other person just misunderstands everything you are trying to say. Usually this breeds frustration and annoyance and a secret belief that they are being deliberately obtuse. Meanwhile they are wondering why we have got out of bed on the wrong side…

It is a fact of Life that communication fails periodically. When you find yourself in this position, the important thing to remember is that clear communication is a two way process and uses multiple modalities. If one isn’t working very well, pay more attention to the others. When having difficulties increase your attention and focus, rather than letting yourself get frustrated and defocused. NLP teaches us that the meaning of any communication is the response you get. If it is not the response you sought, then send another, different version of your message. Ask for more information to help you clarify your point. If you find yourself suffering from communications breakdown, I hope that you don’t have to resort to this …..

“The problem with communication … is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” George Bernard Shaw