Posts Tagged ‘NLP’

Roll Call–more comedy lessons in communication

Sunday, February 6th, 2011
Roll call….PS>> apologies if any adverts come up, they are nothing to do with I-Change!

Rowan Atkinson just stands here reading the register, and with each name the audience laughs louder…. Why?  Although he has obviously chosen some funny words, I’d suggest that there are a number of interesting underlying factors.  Timing is obviously important, as it is in all communication.  However, the key to this gem is that he plays with the audience’s own memories of this situation and builds on them.  In other words he is building rapport and then leading them to laughter. 

If you wish to influence people, and in business we all need and want to do this, then you have to take the time to find out where they are and what they know before you begin communicating.  If you do this, then like Rowan, you can in very few words get them on your side and engaging with you.  Without this it is all just noise and spam.

Other comedy lessons:

  1. Morecombe & Wise
  2. Two Ronnies

Changing your mind

Saturday, May 9th, 2009

Someone close to me has been going through some big emotional upheavals following a relationship breakup.  They have found that they are trapped in a cycle, like a stick in a weir, of doing okay for a while then feeling miserable again.  There are all sorts of things that can help, including just allowing time to pass, the support of friends etc.  They have recently found that some NLP techniques have been helping them to literally change their mind.

The thing is that our brains run a series of behaviours, like a computer runs programmes, mostly these are tried and tested and help us navigate our world, but occasionally they trap us in a negative spiral.  You can play games with your mind to reprogram your brain and create new patterns.  You can do this by things like changing the nature of the voice you hear, changing its location, making pictures black and white or fuzzy to leach their emotional power.

Recognising our own patterns, both the positive ones and the ones that undermine us is important if we wish to change.  So it appears that changing our minds is much more than a figure of speech if we are going to move on.  What have your experiences been of changing your mind and what kind of thing helped you?

“A wise man changes his mind, a fool never”   Spanish Proverb

“You can’t change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future”



Tuesday, April 28th, 2009

Regular readers will know that I have recently been installing filtration into our pond.   It is one of those jobs that is conceptually very simple, but the devil is the detail!  It requires quite a lot of skill to ensure that it not only works but looks nice too.  It pumps in the dirty water through a clever array of mechanical and biological filters to remove not only the solids in suspension but to convert the waste products of the fish into harmless nitrogen.

The interesting things is that we all filter our world, all the time!  If there is something we are interested in, we can hear someone mention it from across the room; the opposite action this is to remove things that we find troubling, we literally don’t hear / see  them.  This is a very useful function of our brains but can be dangerous.  I have read that the native Americans were unable to see Columbus’ ships when they arrived as they had no concept that such a thing could exist.

Awareness of this process is helpful and gives us some choices about how we handle our communication.  What might you be filtering in or out today?

Communication is all about what THEY hear…

Monday, December 8th, 2008

I had an interesting business meeting this morning.  Lots of good stuff being tossed around by 3 people with busy brains and loads of ideas.  I floated an idea (a good one as it happens) and it is interesting to examine what happened between my speaking and them ‘hearing’ what I had suggested. 

One of the guys went off on one little journey about the use of metaphors and in fact had inverted my meaning / story.  In fact, he had just picked up the bits that were interesting to him and taken it in a different direction.  The other chap heard the bits that worried him and was busy thinking about what wouldn’t work.  Over the next 20-30 minutes I explained and developed the idea and by the end of that time we all understood & liked my suggestion and agreed to use it as a core to process. 

The key about this little episode was that until further work was done, our ideas and understanding were at sixes & sevens.  There is an NLP precept which says the meaning of any communication is the meaning taken by the other person.

If it is important for you communicate effectively, you have to check that they have heard what you said and what you meant, not something totally different….

“The problem with communication … is the illusion that it has been accomplished.”  George Bernard Shaw

I can’t communicate..

Monday, May 12th, 2008

We always take for granted those things and those people in our lives that never let us down. We turn on the tap everyday and out comes clean, safe water; we don’t stop to thank God, we just let it run down the drain. Regular electricity supplies (but don’t get me started on our local company!), petrol, food everything we need!

Well the Universe has decided to generate a little more gratitude in the Cooke household by playing Silly S*ds with our broadband connection. It is amazing how crazy you get when suddenly the rest of the world is cut off! How do you fix it, when you can’t go to the net and ping off an email or research the supplier’s site, or look for helpful articles from fellow suffers?

However, this on-again, off-again communication we are currently enjoying, is not so dissimilar from many relationships. Periodically you just find that apparently the other person just misunderstands everything you are trying to say. Usually this breeds frustration and annoyance and a secret belief that they are being deliberately obtuse. Meanwhile they are wondering why we have got out of bed on the wrong side…

It is a fact of Life that communication fails periodically. When you find yourself in this position, the important thing to remember is that clear communication is a two way process and uses multiple modalities. If one isn’t working very well, pay more attention to the others. When having difficulties increase your attention and focus, rather than letting yourself get frustrated and defocused. NLP teaches us that the meaning of any communication is the response you get. If it is not the response you sought, then send another, different version of your message. Ask for more information to help you clarify your point. If you find yourself suffering from communications breakdown, I hope that you don’t have to resort to this …..

“The problem with communication … is the illusion that it has been accomplished.” George Bernard Shaw