Posts Tagged ‘memories’

The Art of Forgetting

Monday, October 26th, 2009

I was listening to something on the radio today about how with all this electronic data available to us, more and more of our lives are documented and increasingly  we are drowning in data and memories.  We can retrieve snaps from drunken parties taken on our phones, daft emails sent in anger, old letters and goodness knows what else.  I gather that Microsoft is even funding research into this with one of their chaps literally documenting every aspect of his life, but I was far from understanding why one would want to!   However, the point that the man on the radio was making was that forgetting is an intrinsic and important aspect of the human experience and part of moving on and letting go.  Forgetting is one way of decluttering our minds.

One example of the benefits of forgetting is that one day Pythagoras was taking one of his regular walks past the local blacksmith’s workshop, he temporarily forgot that the banging sounds produced by the smith’s hammering of iron bars were “noise” – his usual reaction – and instead viewed them as “information.” He subsequently discovered that musical pitch is a function of the length of the material being struck, his first principle of mathematical physics.

Another thing is that whilst our memories naturally decay with time, we tend to assume that we have ‘20:20’ recall and that what is imprinted in our minds is automatically complete, true and accurate, which of course is never the case. 

So what was the point of the blog….. I forget!

“Learning is about more than simply acquiring new knowledge and insights; it is also crucial to unlearn old knowledge that has outlived its relevance. Thus, forgetting is probably at least as important as learning.”   Gary Ryan Blair

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Letting go

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Following on from yesterday’s blog about memories and the Past, today I’d like to think about letting go.  I know a number of people who are struggling with this.  I have to say, I am aware of no magic wand to resolve this issue.  There are a number of NLP and symbolic methodologies to help with this, and for some, they work.  However, I think that our minds carry some memories in much the same way as our bodies carry their scars.  The actual structure is changed and this makes it harder to let them go.  I suspect that we hold on to them because we fear to let them go, after all, if we let them go, perhaps we might be hurt again.

However, carrying around this mental scar tissue also has a cost.  We are constantly scanning for danger from the same quarter and if we see anything that awakens this memory we go straight into our Flight / Fight patterns of behaviour.  This is our equivalent of a herd of wildebeest stampeding across the plains just because a shadow reminds one of them of a lion.

What experience do you have of successfully letting go?  When is it appropriate and how do you best release these things?

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”    Havelock Ellis

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”    Lao Tzu

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

 

Our Past is nothing more than a collection of memories?

Sunday, May 31st, 2009

“Everyone’s past… is nothing more than a collection of memories that they chose to remember”  Andrew Davidson

I came across this interesting sentence in a marvellous book I have just read called The Gargoyle and it got me thinking.  I’m inclined to agree but do we actually choose the memories that we remember?  What does it take to erase a bad memory?  I have been relatively lucky in my life and my past isn’t scared with many traumas, so I claim no expertise here, but I do know people who have lived through tough experiences  and I can see how these are imprinted on them.

The past we remember is obviously patchy, and our recollection is necessarily incomplete and entirely subjective.  So it is certainly possible to add or subtract from this picture and by doing so to change it; and in changing this story, we change us too.

We can either add a rosy glow to memories to make them more palatable or more special, equally we can retrospectively cast people in the role of demons and erase all their better points.  Both strategies have value and both have a cost too that we pay every day.

I would love to gather some stories about how you might have changed by reassessing or redefining your memories.

“A memory is what is left when something happens and does not completely unhappen.”   Edward de Bono

“Memory is a child walking along a seashore.  You never can tell what small pebble it will pick up and store away among its treasured things.”   Pierce Harris

“A childhood is what anyone wants to remember of it.  It leaves behind no fossils, except perhaps in fiction”.   Carol Shields