Posts Tagged ‘letting go’

Out with the Old…

Thursday, January 6th, 2011

I love this picture (sent to me by a friend) as beautifully visual way to think about the way that things can be washed away, and fresh starts made.  As regular readers will know, 2010 was just about as tough a year as anyone could imagine for the Cooke clan.  Xmas, I’m happy to report, passed off a whole lot better than I feared and thanks to a family and friends, some fun was had amidst the obvious shadows. 

I don’t pretend for a second that we will let go of last year with the completeness or ease that this picture suggests but perhaps, grain-by-grain, some of the scars maybe filled in, and a new surface prepared for us to ‘write’ on.

Everyone will have things they would like to let go of, and I think this time of year provides an opportunity for us to chose to take steps in this direction.  It does take energy to hold onto things and if we can just allow our ‘fingers’ to open, then perhaps the slipping away can begin.  We often embrace and hold onto our hurts as they do, in someway, define us.  We have to decide if we are the person who was hurt and damaged or the one who is beginning anew.

I in no way pretend that this is easy; indeed, I am still searching for the way through, but the first step is a willingness to let go.  For all those out there who were hurt in 2010, I hope and pray that we can all allow the tide to give us a fresh start this year and renew ourselves and write a new and happier story.

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”   Havelock Ellis

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”    Lao Tzu

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The green shoots of recovery

Saturday, November 28th, 2009

We were out walking today in the Surrey Hills; it was a beautiful, sunny late autumn / early winter’s day.  A chilly wind was blowing in, making it feel much colder than the 7°C the thermometer said.  The views were lovely, with everything showing up the most vivid colours in the very directional light we get at this time of year.  Then my wife noticed that this birch was already showing buds.  It seems amazing to me even before winter has even tightened its grip, the promise of spring is there to be seen.

I wonder how many of us, if we took the time to look, would find verdant signs of promise, of new growth amidst the death of the old stuff we need to let go of….

 

“No spring nor summer beauty hath such grace
As I have seen in one autumnal face.”   John Donne

“Falling leaves
hide the path
so quietly”   John Bailey

 

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Shedding

Friday, July 3rd, 2009

I was watching a rain of yellow leaves from our birch trees this morning.  The trees seems to be shedding leaves they can no longer support due to the dry conditions here.  The lawn is now a sea of yellow.  It no longer has the resources; their ‘relationship’ is no longer fruitful.  It made me think of what is going on in the economy right now.   Businesses are letting go of resources that no longer serve them.  This is very painful if you are one of those ‘leaves’ but perhaps in the end, better for everyone that nature asserts a macro-view.

I wonder how many of us should let things go that no longer serve us; old hurts, old relationships, old habits, old ways of working, being and thinking? 

What are you thoughts?

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”   Havelock Ellis

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”  Lao Tzu

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Letting go

Monday, June 1st, 2009

Following on from yesterday’s blog about memories and the Past, today I’d like to think about letting go.  I know a number of people who are struggling with this.  I have to say, I am aware of no magic wand to resolve this issue.  There are a number of NLP and symbolic methodologies to help with this, and for some, they work.  However, I think that our minds carry some memories in much the same way as our bodies carry their scars.  The actual structure is changed and this makes it harder to let them go.  I suspect that we hold on to them because we fear to let them go, after all, if we let them go, perhaps we might be hurt again.

However, carrying around this mental scar tissue also has a cost.  We are constantly scanning for danger from the same quarter and if we see anything that awakens this memory we go straight into our Flight / Fight patterns of behaviour.  This is our equivalent of a herd of wildebeest stampeding across the plains just because a shadow reminds one of them of a lion.

What experience do you have of successfully letting go?  When is it appropriate and how do you best release these things?

“All the art of living lies in a fine mingling of letting go and holding on.”    Havelock Ellis

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”    Lao Tzu

“Getting over a painful experience is much like crossing monkey bars. You have to let go at some point in order to move forward.”

 

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Autumn Leaves

Saturday, November 15th, 2008

Like many other folks today, I was out with the rake and wheelbarrow moving away barrow upon barrow of fallen leaves.  I love this time of year; I love the colours, and the sound of the leaves under foot.  I love the light when we get some autumn sun.

The trees withdraw the useful sugars from the leaves and stop the ‘feed’ to the leaves which provokes the fall and the change of colour. 

It made me wonder what we could let go of, having taken all that is valuable to us from it?  Those things that no longer feed you, that take more from you than you can support.  maybe today is a good day to let go and enjoy the feeling of release and lightness.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond the winning.”   Lao Tzu

“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”   Thich Nhat Hanh

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Busy doing NOthing

Saturday, April 12th, 2008

Yesterday I was writing about the importance of sometimes allowing yourself to do nothing, and I really did take my own advice. One reader thought that I was advocating never moving into action, which is certainly not the case. It is more like night and day, where you swing from one natural phase to the next and then back again.

So, back to yesterday…. Having finished writing, and having dealt with a very welcome business call that delayed me still further, I looked out of the window and my sunny day had vanished… only to be replaced with grey and wet! None-the-less, I was off to the woods to test out my new satnav1 system and see if I could navigate round some places I really didn’t know. I have mentioned before that I love ‘exploring,’ which for me, is going places I don’t know, even (and sometimes, especially) if they are close to places I do know.

So I took myself off to some woods & heath not too far from here and surrendered myself to the unknown. I was on my own so there were no distractions. During the course of my walk which last about 2.5 hours we had every kind of weather from sun to hail. I was moving at a fair clip so by the end I was pretty tired.

However, and here is the point of my ramble about rambling, all this time I was very active, but on another level, fitting into my ‘nothingness’ mode. I had no work to do, no purpose other than to open myself up to my surroundings and experiences. I won’t be so arrogant as to claim it was a ‘zenlike state’ but it was a very English version of that.

By letting go of the focus control and just allowing ourselves to notice what we notice, by going somewhere new and surrendering control, by being open to getting lost we can find so much. So if you are not sure what to do about something, perhaps you should put Nothing on your menu…

“Criticism is something we can avoid easily by saying nothing, doing nothing, and being nothing” Aristotle

“Doing nothing is better than being busy doing nothing” Lao Tzu

“Sitting quietly, doing nothing, spring comes, and the grass grows by itself” Zen Proverb

Resources:

  2. Bing Crosby is busy doing nothing

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