Well, today was the day, the cycle completed, 12 months to the day since she died.  I had no idea how it would be or what we would do.  In part I dreaded it in case all sorts of ‘stuff’ was dredged up, in part I was pleased as it meant, from here on in, we had done it all at least once.  I didn’t have any expectations nor try to control anything today.  I’d decided that I was going to visit her bench and set a stone there (as I  described in an earlier blog).  My son came with me and we had a quiet moment there.  My eldest had taken today off, but the middle one had other plans.  It turns out that today was the day she got a tattoo to commemorate this all… forget-me-nots. 

We had decided we’d spend tonight as the family so often has, picnicking in lounge, watching movies.  My eldest had chosen some movies that seemed to span the entire emotional gamut from moving, via thoughtful to silly.  There was one that was so apposite, I swear it felt like Carys was speaking to me.  A character in the film said “Darling, it’s time..”  In the midst of all this middle daughter was making fart jokes with sound effects from iPod, it all felt perfect.

Throughout the day, various people got in touch various ways.  We had texts, and emails; we had flowers and phone calls, including a friend who called in from a holiday abroad, right through to neighbours in the green-grocers. 

It’s onwards and upwards for us all, day-by-day, one step at a time