Archive for June, 2008

The Ages of Man

Friday, June 20th, 2008

There are seven ages of man according to Shakespeare1 and three according to Titian & Giorgione, Four2 says Ovid and Hesiod five! Well for the purpose of this blog I say three, and they came to life ‘chez nous’ last night when my brother-in-law came to celebrate his 60th birthday right on the heels of my son celebrating his 18th. So one family member is entering his third age, and my son moving into his second. Now of course we are all changing day-by-day, but at these landmark birthdays we can reflect on the next steps in our journeys. What we are moving into and what we are leaving behind.

It is helpful to pause and reflect what we are leaving behind anyway, and perhaps to ask ourselves what things we might chose to release too. And what kind of future do we wish to build, because tomorrow’s fruits are always planted today, and the doctrine of karma is in many ways no more than saying we reap what we sow.

So perhaps today isn’t a special day for you, but I guarantee there is no better day to take a few moments to reflect and consider these issues

“All the world’s a stage,
And all the men and women merely players;
They have their exits and their entrances;
And one man in his time plays many parts,
His acts being seven ages.” Shakespeare

 

 

Resources:

  1. As you like it

    “At first the infant,
    Mewling and puking in the nurse’s arms;
    Then the whining school-boy, with his satchel
    And shining morning face, creeping like snail
    Unwillingly to school. And then the lover,
    Sighing like furnace, with a woeful ballad
    Made to his mistress’ eyebrow. Then a soldier,
    Full of strange oaths, sudden and quick in quarrel,
    Seeking the bubble reputation
    Even in the cannon’s mouth. And then the justice,
    In fair round belly with good capon lin’d,
    With eyes severe and beard of formal cut,
    Full of wise saws and modern instances;
    And so he plays his part. The sixth age shifts
    Into the lean and slipper’d pantaloon,
    With spectacles on nose and pouch on side,
    His youthful hose, well sav’d a world too wide
    For his shrunk shank; and his big manly voice,
    Turning again toward childish treble, pipes
    And whistles in his sound. Last scene of all,
    That ends this strange eventful history,
    Is second childishness and mere oblivion;
    Sans teeth, sans eyes, sans taste, sans every thing. (II.vii)

It’s hard work doing nothing!

Thursday, June 19th, 2008

We are getting ready to go on holiday, and I am gob-smacked how much work one has to do just in order to do a little bit of nothing.  It is as if we are having to pack two weeks work into one just in order to take the next one off.  Now this may seem perfectly logical, but it is amazing how hard one must work just to create a little space.

The thing is, that in order for Change to happen it requires a number of elements:-

  • Space
  • Time
  • Willingness
  • Energy / Resources

Clearly if space creation takes this much work, it makes it all so much harder.  It is a bit like a garden, first you have to clear the weeds in order to prepare the soil for the new things to grow.  If you are wanting to introduce a change into your life right now, first of all make some space for it to grow.

“Even the wildest dreams have to start somewhere. Allow yourself the time and space to let your mind wander and your imagination fly.”  Oprah Winfrey

A human being is part of a whole, called by us the Universe, a part limited in time and space. He experiences himself, his thoughts and feelings, as something separated from the rest a kind of optical delusion of his consciousness. This delusion is a kind of prison for us, restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons nearest us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening our circles of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of nature in its beauty.”  Albert Einstein

Lost & Found

Wednesday, June 18th, 2008

Those of you who are regulars will recall not only that I am a keen walker but one of my chief delights is when I find a whole new dimension to a place a I know well.  This involves straying from the ways we know into the unknown, and usually getting lost!  I suppose getting lost is just another label we give for places we don’t know.  However in life, if we just stay safe all the time, if we never go off the beaten track, then how do we learn?  How do we move on?

So today, me and my faithful companion were planning to use what I thought was a path on the map, but when we got there, it turns out it wasn’t a path, just a boundary line.  We ended up wading through chest high ferns and nettles trying to find our way, crossing little streams and traversing mini-bogs.  It felt like a real jungle adventure of the Boy’s Own variety!  We had a great time.

So perhaps today is a good day to depart from your well trodden paths and open yourself up to something new?  Perhaps to enable someone close to you to move into a new space too?  Change begins with leaving the familiar behind and opening yourself up to the unknown… why not give it a go?

“What is the difference between exploring and being lost?”   Dan Eldon
“Your current safe boundaries were once unknown frontiers.”

Designer Labels

Monday, June 16th, 2008

We live in a society obsessed with designer labels. Certainly some of these designers merit their status and make lovely clothes and cars etc. However, as others have just cashed in on their names and sold the right to put them on any old toot, these labels are no guarantee of style. It is interesting that there is now a huge market in known fake designer goods, where people boast about having ‘knock-offs’

There are posh addresses to live in, and ‘in’ places to hang out, and God knows the media is utterly obsessed with celebrities, which really these days just means someone you have heard of.

So how does it feel to be ordinary in this label led world? How do we feel about just driving any old car, wearing clothes from the high street, rather than the cat-walk, and just being Joe (or Josephine) Ordinary?

I enjoy the few really nice things I have, as I am sure you do, but to feel that your value is somehow changed by these things seems daft. I just wonder what the other labels we put on ourselves do for us.. And those that others place round our necks?

“First say to yourself what you would be; and then do what you have to do.” Epictetus
“Our achievements of today are but the sum total of our thoughts of yesterday. You are today where the thoughts of yesterday have brought you and you will be tomorrow where the thoughts of today take you” Blaise Pascal

 

More labels

Sunday, June 15th, 2008

I wrote yesterday about labelling things and people.  Some of you have already pointed out both the value and inevitability of this strategy.  I agree.  However, it has hidden drawbacks too, that we seldom see.  Imagine someone giving you a Swiss army knife with a dozen different handy tools.  If you only ever use the knife blade after a while you cease to consider its potential value as a bottle opener or a screw driver.  People are like this too.  Particularly at work, we can tend to see people as rather 2 dimensional and forget that they have a life outside work.  The more we see and relate to the whole person the more of themselves they bring to work and the more they have to offer.

We also label ourselves.  It is very typical for people to introduce themselves with a label; “Hi, I’m Sophie’s husband” or “Yes, I’m the Sales Director” or “I work for Eagle Star“.  When we think of ourselves through this filter of our labels we limit ourselves too.  I am more than just someone’s husband, someone’s father, someone’s son, someone’s neighbour etc. 

We label our behaviours and responses as “Good” and “Bad”, when it would be much better if we asked if they were appropriate or not; helpful or not; affirming or not? 

Perhaps today is the day to peel off some of these labels and see what potential you can unleash…

“You see things; and you say, ‘Why?’ But I dream things that never were; and I say, ‘Why not?'”  George Bernard Shaw

“We love labels. We really do–as a society, I mean. It’s so much easier to understand the world around us if we name it, tie it down, and distance ourselves from the parts we don’t like…. We all want to beloved, we all want to love, and we all want”

A place for everything…

Saturday, June 14th, 2008

So the kitchen has been installed in Cooke Towers and we are trying to convert the chaos that the process left into its wake into a working kitchen.  When all you have is empty drawers they are just potential waiting to be filled, however at this stage there is no right way to do so.  In a working kitchen, or office, you can just reach out and lay your hands on the tools you need.  

People can be like this, raw potential, until you have labelled them and, perhaps, restricted them.  Labels are useful, they help us navigate our world, but when it comes to people, and even experiences, they have a price.

We find labels we give ‘useful’ but most of us resent it when we are labelled, so use them judiciously…

Labels are for cans, not people.”  Anthony Rapp

Resistance: "I don’t know how to do the new behaviours"

Wednesday, June 11th, 2008

The other day I posted a blog listing some of the reasons for resisting Change.  This is the third in series exploring those reasons. 

Today’s reason is “I don’t know how to ‘do’ the new behaviour”.  The thing is, role models play a key part in our learning process, and within a stable organisation new and junior team members look to more experienced ones to learn the ropes.  In a Change project, the new skills may not exist in the organisation (indeed that may be part of the problem that is being addressed).  This goes beyond training, it is learning on the job.  One key element of this is that these role models demonstrate that these behaviours work (and are safe, and part of the recipe for success).  If in doubt people copy what you do, rather than doing what you say, so wherever possible, you should model the new behaviours for them.

“I’m so proud to be voted as a number one role model by these young women. Of course though no-one knows more about “rolls” than I do.”  Dawn French

Resistance: I don’t have the skills

Monday, June 9th, 2008

The other day I posted a blog listing some of the reasons for resisting Change.  This is the second in series exploring those reasons. 

Today’s reason is people’s fear that they won’t have the necessary skills to operate / function in the new set-up.  The first thing to say is they may, of course, be exactly right.  It obviously depends on the degree and nature of the change.  Before you announce your programme, you need to have assessed what kind of training and support your team might need.  It needs to be appropriate to people’s preferred learning styles rather than a one size fits all  training session, and there may be the need for ongoing support.

You also need to be aware this can be as much about how people feel about their capabilities as their actual capability.  If you fail to address their feelings, you are likely to fail.

“What we can or cannot do, what we consider possible or impossible, is rarely a function of our true capability. It is more likely a function of our beliefs about who we are.”   Anthony Robbins

Is that little voice prejudice or intuition?

Sunday, June 8th, 2008

This morning I was online in a group that I belong to and came across the name / profile of someone I had once met.  I followed a couple of links and found out they were involved in some areas I had been unaware of.  Now these are areas that interest me and my normal reaction would have been positive, and made me more warmly disposed toward this person.  I was aware though, that in this case, it just made me feel uncomfortable.

I found myself wondering if this was the voice of intuition, warning me off, or just prejudice getting in the way of me offering them a second chance.  After all, none of us always makes a good first impression;  shy people can come over as brash if they over-compensate, apparently self-centred people can have hearts of gold. 

I believe both in intuition and its power to help and guide, and also in the value of an open mind and heart.  How do you know which voice is speaking to you?

“The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice”    Mark Twain

“Everyone is a prisoner of his own experience. No one can eliminate prejudices–just recognize them.”  Edward R Murrow

“Intuition isn’t the enemy, but the ally, of reason.”  John Kord Lagemann

"It’s not human.."

Saturday, June 7th, 2008

This what an Icelandic language coach said * of a young Englishman who set himself the challenge of learning to speak Icelandic is a week and succeeded.  Apparently Icelandic is an extremely complex language and hard for anyone to learn, but doing so in a week is unheard of. 

Now there were many interesting things about Daniel, but what ‘grabbed’ me was this lady’s comment.  I know that this is an extraordinary feat, but one of the uplifting thing about people is their ability to go beyond any reasonable limits and achieve the ‘impossible’. 

I’m wondering if you have any stories like this of doing the impossible?  Also maybe it is a good time to be reminded that we don’t have to subscribe to others views of our limitations

“Whether you think that you can, or that you can’t, you are usually right.”  Henry Ford

Man is what he believes.”  Anton Chekhov

 

Resources:

  1. Youtube clip
  2. * Discovery Channel “The boy with the incredible brain”