Archive for July, 2008

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My baby’s gone away

Sunday, July 6th, 2008

Yesterday my 18 year old son, who is also our youngest child, went off on holiday with ‘the lads’ for the first time.  He was assailed by last minute nerves which was very upsetting for everyone concerned.  One tends to forget that just being over 6′ tall doesn’t make you a ‘grown-up’.  Travelling alone is undoubtedly one of those rites of passage and it is important for us all to do these things. It is tough to do, and tough to watch.

Doing new things is always challenging on many different levels:-

  • You don’t know how to do it, as you have no experience.  Theory and practice can be a million miles apart
  • You can feel frightened by all the things you don’t know.  All sorts of nameless fears can assail you.
  • You can be confused by feeling excited and scared at the same time, torn between conflicting emotions
  • You don’t know whether to run forward into the experience or away from it
  • You don’t want to seem foolish or weak  to others

New things are challenges, but they always take us to new places that allow in new ideas and feelings.  I hope that if you are facing a new challenge today you can find the courage and the support you need to embrace it… Good Luck!

“Be brave. Take risks. Nothing can substitute experience.”   Paulo Coelho

“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards”

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Doors

Saturday, July 5th, 2008

Today we have the carpenter in, hanging new doors in Cooke Towers, and fixing ones that haven’t worked well since we moved in.  Doors are something that most of us never give a second thought to, but they really are rather interesting.  They keep things out and let things through; they hide things away and reveal others. 

Mostly we don’t give second thought to which things, and which people,  we shut out and those that we let in.  However, these choices define and shape our lives.  Perhaps today would be a good day to remove the odd door or two and examine what is being hidden, and what is being revealed; who is being let in and who is being shut away?  The thing about doors is that whilst they shut out the world, they also trap us inside.

So if you decide to come out an play today, or invite in some new friends, I wish you joy of it.

“The doors we open and close each day decide the lives we live.”  Flora Whittemore

“A small key opens big doors.”  Turkish proverb

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Space.. the Final Frontier?

Friday, July 4th, 2008

I was talking to a fabulous networking group, called Success in Sussex yesterday about Change and I mentioned how important space was to enable people to deal with Change. It is perhaps ironical that I find myself, despite my very best endeavours, struggling to create some space for myself. Having just come back from a fab week away, I resolved to only do those things that absolutely had to be done this week. However, there was a certain amount of things that had to be attended to including the renovation project of Cooke Towers. Time seems to be voraciously consumed at present, including wonderful make work projects like the 2 hours I spent yesterday trying to install a new router which ended up dying on us (we tried CPR to no avail..)

The thing is, most of us are under so much pressure that we not only constantly in Flight / Fight but also we feel we have no time to give serious consideration to things we might want to change, or even to focus on the things we deem important. We opt for the same old routines that have created the problem, because they are all we have time for now.

When I finish writing this, I am stopping for today. I would urge you to be ruthless in creating a little space, be it mental, temporal or physical, in your life and let yourself breathe a little and gain a fresh perspective on what is important. Good Luck .. or maybe I should say “Live long and prosper!”

“Even the wildest dreams have to start somewhere. Allow yourself the time and space to let your mind wander and your imagination fly.” Oprah Winfrey

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Coming Home & the Middle Way

Tuesday, July 1st, 2008

I find it odd that no matter how nice a time one has had travelling, coming home always feels like a good thing, and no matter how smooth the travel, one is always tired when one arrives back. So it is not really surprising to find Family Cooke feeling a little tired, and struggling to get our lives back into some semblance of order once more. Bags to be unpacked, washing to be done, mail to de dealt with and many other tasks to be seen to.

I find myself struggling to find the middle way between rushing like a mad thing to get back into control of my life & my home, and trying to hang onto a little of the holiday spirit and chill a bit longer. It seems so often in life that the middle way is the right path to tread and yet we so often struggle to walk it. The Buddhists have a whole philosophy about this1 but I don’t think that makes it any easier. Thinking back to some of the family squabbles that cause the usual amount of friction & flame, they would be so much less if all of us could be a little less attached to being right and justifying our actions and feelings.

Change can only start when we are prepared to move on, and if necessary, be wrong. After all if we were perfect, then any change would be for the worst, and we couldn’t allow that could we? I truly believe in our ability to grow and become more than we are now, so perhaps today is a good day to start seeing a few more mistakes and misjudgements that I make…

“Once we realize that imperfect understanding is the human condition, there is no shame in being wrong, only in failing to correct our mistakes.” George Soros

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