Posts Tagged ‘children’

Progress is fragile

Saturday, May 22nd, 2010

This has been a real lesson.  In work we tend to tick things when they are ‘done’, but in real life progress is more subtle and fragile.  It is much more like gardening, and the tender shoots are very vulnerable when they first emerge.  We have done a great job of pulling together, getting organised and making things work but under this thin skin of ‘wins’ is a soft and tender core that is oh so vulnerable; bad dreams and being triggered by the silliest of things.  I was watching a rugby Man of the Year award; you’d think that was pretty safe territory till the winning player said that he had recently lost his father and dedicated his success to him.  I immediately welled up.  Or again, I was listening to the radio yesterday and they were talking about how people are using websites, such as Facebook,  as living memorials to keep alive the memories of their lost ones…  One of my daughters has already announced that she is not looking forward to Xmas for all the things that we will be missing and seems to have written it off already. 

I suspect that this fragility of progress applies not only in situations like ours but in all manner of changes.  You have to protect these tender shoots.  I wish I knew how…

Listen to the little ones

Monday, March 17th, 2008

We had a gathering of the clan this weekend and a good time was had by all (well mostly!) We were driving home with my three children in the back of the car chatting away about what they had seen and heard, and the things they had observed. It was a fascinating lesson. Admittedly, they are pretty grown up but none-the-less, the views and judgements of the junior team on some of the behaviours of the ‘seniors’ were fascinating. Obviously, I’m not going to recount the various details here, they would be meaningless, but for me there were a number of lessons that I thought worth sharing.

  • Just because you are not one of the management team / ‘grown ups’ doesn’t mean that:-
    1. You don’t have important, and possibly unique, insights & information
    2. You don’t have an opinion that should be considered
  • And just because you are of the management team / ‘grown ups’ doesn’t mean that:-
    1. You are (automatically) right
    2. You are being fair
  • Being asked to accept and understand a situation that affects you is one thing; not being considered or communicated with is quite another.
  • Just because you think you understand a situation, and believe that you have acted appropriately, does not mean that you have, especially if you don’t have all the information, and, guess what… we never have all the information!
  • I know there are people running businesses out there today who are making exactly these mistakes, not to mention a parent or too, so today I am sharing the wisdom of these remarkable youngsters to help us all avoid marching straight into a quicksand.

    “The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children.” Clarence Darrow

    “If you must hold yourself up to your children as an object lesson, hold yourself up as a warning and not as an example.” George Bernard Shaw