Those of you of a certain generation might remember Cilla Black singing Burt Bacharach’s lyrics, asking this immortal question “What’s it all about?”   Now I won’t claim ever to have been so arrogant as to have the an answer to this, but I did have a working hypothesis that worked for me.  I was the kind of person that people tended to ask this kind of question to.  No life is ever perfect, we all have our niggles and worries, but mine worked pretty well.  I lived somewhere I loved, with people I loved, doing a job I love.  I have always had a pretty upbeat attitude to life.  If life was a game of cards, I was happy to stand pat on my hand.

Then 7 weeks ago, the rug was pulled out from under us all when Carys died.  Since then we have all struggled to reorient to our new world, to find new roles and behaviours.  We have done an amazing job of all this, but imagine a team of climbers going up Everest… we were still cold, tired, frightened and wishing we didn’t have to climb anymore!  Then about 10 days ago I was rushed into hospital (the same one!)  They told me that I can’t drive till I see a specialist in a few months time.  So suddenly they have taken away our climbing gear and parkas, and the mountain is a far colder, scarier place.  I have been deprived of one of the key tools for reconstructing my life, my ability to move around.

It is harder and harder to answer the question “What’s it all about?”  If we were having an intellectual debate I could address this well enough, but that no longer satisfies the inner me.  I know sometimes you have to just let time do its work.  I know most of things you can think of saying now…. and guess what?  It makes no difference!

Still as travellers, we never know what is around the next bend, and in the same way we can be ambushed by Life, it can also surprize and delight us…  here’s hoping!

“Life is just a chance to grow a soul.”  A. Powell Davies

“Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.”  Alan Bennett