Posts Tagged ‘risks’

All the right bits… not necessarily in the right order!

Saturday, July 19th, 2008

I was lucky enough to see again the wonderful Morecombe & Wise sketch with André Previn, and yesterday had one of those real life experiences where life seems to imitate art. I was out walking in the country outside Petworth; it is a walk I have done about 5 times over a period of some 8 years and whilst I am modestly familiar with it, it is by no means a route I know well. I managed the navigation without any problem and one by one the landmarks presented themselves, a gate here, a boat there, a little stream etc. The odd thing was that whilst I remembered them, I had no idea they were part of one coherent whole. They were stored as a jumbled series of still shots, not part of a movie clip. In reality it made no difference, but it was a weird, slightly unreal experience. I almost found myself thinking, “Who put that there?”

The fact is that as we navigate our lives, we never have a complete map. We often will tell ourselves that we can’t move forwards because we don’t know this, that or the other when we can never know all these things. Just as I managed my walk, so we can manage our lives, with this incomplete map.

So if today you are hesitating, perhaps it is a good time to move and trust that when you come to the turn, you too will recognise where you need to go. One thing is for sure, staying put won’t change anything!

“Map out your future – but do it in pencil. The road ahead is as long as you make it. Make it worth the trip.” Jon Bon Jovi

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Posted in Personal Change | 2 Comments »

Security

Monday, July 14th, 2008

Isn’t this a much used word these days? Internet security, home security, wifi security, personal security, National Security! We are constantly being warned to be aware of ever-present dangers and to protect ourselves against them. We install dead-bolts, alarm systems, firewalls, encryption, MI5 and accept having to take our shoes off at airport check-ins all in the name of security. Now I am not suggesting for a minute that we should not be aware of these dangers and take sensible precautions against them. However, when we get to a stage where, as a country, the laws we pass curtail our liberties and restrict our rights under the law to the extent that they have, one has to wonder. I would also link it to our obsession with Health & Safety: the other day I heard someone seriously referring to dropped rubber bands as a safety hazard!

In life nothing is certain, and one of the key adaptive skills we have as a race, and we develop as individuals, is our ability to handle sudden and unexpected things, some good, some bad. However, these are just labels, and often we can have some of our very best experiences as a result of an initial ‘bad’ event.

It is only human to want to be and feel secure. However, learning to manage successfully in a world that is intrinsically insecure is a true life skill and we should not be insulated from developing this. It is a bigger version of not allowing our kids to play in playgrounds in case they fall over. Of course they will fall over, we all did just that and yet here we are today…

Some people enjoy the thrill of a little danger, and that is great; but for those of us who are wired differently, I would still suggest that we don’t overdo the whole security thing… maybe today is a good day to take a risk.

“It takes a lot of courage to release the familiar and seemingly secure, to embrace the new. But there is no real security in what is no longer meaningful. There is more security in the adventurous and exciting, for in movement there is life, and in change there is power.” Alan Cohen

“There is no security on this earth. Only opportunity.” Douglas MacArthur

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Stronger in the broken place

Friday, May 16th, 2008

I mentioned in yesterday’s blog that our water bed had sprung a leak, and some of the ‘fun’ we have had in dealing with it. So having mopped up and found that we had a tiny split in the vinyl, I slapped on the ever present universal remedy… duct tape, and called Mr Waterbed. “No problem! I’ll pop a repair kit in the post and it will be as good as new. In fact it will be stronger than ever.” So today it arrives and I do the repair. Job done!

However, it is an interesting idea that; I remember a doctor telling me when I broke my wrist that the bone would be stronger than before. So often once things have been broken and repaired it is a weak spot. It is interesting to think about your relationships in this light. Sometimes when there is a breakdown, it is followed by a break through and the relationship moves to a new high place. Other times, trust is damaged and you are always scanning for evidence that it might happen again.

I wonder what make the difference? I think perhaps it is down to how much truth is told, and how much fresh insight is gained. If as a result of the problem you completely explore the circumstances and learn more about each other, perhaps you feel safer and more close. Where it is patched up then it is always fragile. It takes courage to go in to those risky and dark places that gave rise to the breakdown in the first palace, but if you don’t, then I suspect it is left permanently damaged and everyone just pretends that it is okay.

What do you think?

“Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.”

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Posted in Communication, General, Values & Philosophy | 4 Comments »