Posts Tagged ‘trust’

It is amazing what a bit of trust can achieve

Friday, March 22nd, 2013

I admit it, I’ve become a diehard rugby fan, and I support Harlequins.  It seems I became a supporter at a pretty good time because in the last three years (since I have been going regularly) I have seen them first win the Amlin cup, then the Premiership last year and this year the A League and the LV cup.  So why am I sharing this with you?

Well I think that there is a very interesting story behind this year’s win.  This tournament is intended to encourage clubs to give their younger players exposure to the pressure, and the thrills and spills of knockout rugby, but it is not mandatory to field youngsters, as the prize entitles the winners to an automatic place in following year’s premier European competition, the Heineken Cup.  There is therefore a temptation to bring more experienced players in as that prize gets closer.

This year we stuck with the spirit of the LV cup and fielded a very young team, 15 of the match day 23 were under 23, and I think we had a single international on the bench.  By contrast, Bath in the semi-finals and Sale in the final  fielded their first teams, full of seasoned international players as they were desperate to qualify for Europe next year.  Conor O’Shea, the Quin’s coach, said after the win:-

“I’m just over the moon for the group. It is a long way into the season and we face a massive next nine weeks but, for those players, that is something that is a reminder to everyone coming back in the next couple of weeks. There is a good vibe in the dressing room and a lot of very proud parents of young men but it sets us up to really attack what will be ups and down in the coming weeks. We know that.  They have won a national trophy and we said before the game not to take anything for granted because you never know when you will get there. We have been very fortunate to be in a number of finals in the last few years and to have come away with a trophy.”

However, he was quite happy to back these youngsters whom had trusted to get the club to the final, and they repaid that faith with an unbeaten run and really fine performances against much more experienced players.

Trust is a very powerful thing and can transform people when it is well placed.  I witnessed another example of this when working with a client the other week, who told a group of people lower down the organisation that he was trusting them with previously confidential information and looking to them to help him drive performance in their teams.  It is an act of leadership to encourage others and help them grow, to see potential and nurture it.  It is possibly one of the key roles of a good leader.  So next time you have a challenge, ask yourself if it is an opportunity to grow tomorrow’s star players.

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Posted in Business Change, Leadership | No Comments »

“We’ll change when you do!”

Saturday, March 21st, 2009

Said Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, Iran’s supreme leader in response to Barack Obama’s offers of a ‘fresh start’  to relations between the US and Iran.  He says, “We haven’t seen any change.”  Obama’s campaign slogan was “Change We Can Believe In.”   I guess that now is the time to demonstrate why others should believe in him .  Is this a time for Gandhi’s  famous “Be the change you want to see”?

Talk is cheap.  Now is the time for a real leader to behave differently.

This little impasse is not restricted to the political sphere.  I often hear staff make similar observations about their bosses.  Do you have the courage and vision to show people how you want them to respond now?  I’d love some real life examples if you have any…

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts, he shall end in certainty.”  Francis Bacon

“Setting an example is not the main means of influencing another, it is the only means.”  Albert Einstein

Resources: 

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Posted in Business Change, Communication, Leadership, Personal Change | 5 Comments »

Trust

Sunday, January 18th, 2009

I have talked in the last two days about conflicts and reconciliation.  Both are linked by trust, or its absence.  If you can find no grounds for trust then reconciliation is very hard if not impossible.  When trust breaks down, conflict often results.

So where does trust come from?  We tend to trust things and people that we can understand or are like us, hence the power of the ‘old school tie’ or belonging to the same club or even gang.  It follows that if we don’t come from the same background, or if we don’t know much about the other, the first thing is disclosure so that one can try to build common bonds based on shared experiences.  Sometimes we need to look at quite basic links; in Northern Ireland, during the troubles, mothers on both sides of the divide found commonality in wanting to protect their offspring.

The next component is to be predictable, to do what you say you will and to behave in a way consistent with the information that you have disclosed.   If I get bitten every time I poke the dog with a stick, I might not like it, but I know where I stand; the reverse is also true, if I behave well and get rewarded by getting a positive response back then there is something I can work with and trust.

When we look at behaviour that doesn’t make sense to us it is usually because of missing bits of information the other party holds, and these are often how we feel about what is going on.

How do you feel about trust and what can you do to build more trust in the world?

Prayer of Trust

“MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going. I do not see the road ahead of me.  I cannot know for certain where it will end.

Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.  But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.

And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing. I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire. And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.

Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death. I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.” Thomas Merton

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Posted in Business Change, General, Personal Change, Values & Philosophy | 3 Comments »

Stronger in the broken place

Friday, May 16th, 2008

I mentioned in yesterday’s blog that our water bed had sprung a leak, and some of the ‘fun’ we have had in dealing with it. So having mopped up and found that we had a tiny split in the vinyl, I slapped on the ever present universal remedy… duct tape, and called Mr Waterbed. “No problem! I’ll pop a repair kit in the post and it will be as good as new. In fact it will be stronger than ever.” So today it arrives and I do the repair. Job done!

However, it is an interesting idea that; I remember a doctor telling me when I broke my wrist that the bone would be stronger than before. So often once things have been broken and repaired it is a weak spot. It is interesting to think about your relationships in this light. Sometimes when there is a breakdown, it is followed by a break through and the relationship moves to a new high place. Other times, trust is damaged and you are always scanning for evidence that it might happen again.

I wonder what make the difference? I think perhaps it is down to how much truth is told, and how much fresh insight is gained. If as a result of the problem you completely explore the circumstances and learn more about each other, perhaps you feel safer and more close. Where it is patched up then it is always fragile. It takes courage to go in to those risky and dark places that gave rise to the breakdown in the first palace, but if you don’t, then I suspect it is left permanently damaged and everyone just pretends that it is okay.

What do you think?

“Words and hearts should be handled with care for words when spoken and hearts when broken are the hardest things to repair.”

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Posted in Communication, General, Values & Philosophy | 4 Comments »