Posts Tagged ‘thoughts’

What the World banking crisis can teach us about our lives

Sunday, October 12th, 2008

If we wind the clock back a few years, we were being told that the British economy was growing and was one of the strongest in the West.  We had inflation under control and our banking & financial sector that was one of the best in the the world.  House prices were soaring and shares were going up.  Fast forward to today and we are embroiled in a global financial crisis, house prices are tumbling and we appear to be on the edge of a precipice.

Has anything real changed?  I’m not sure that it has.  It is just what we are thinking and what we are telling each other.  Which is right “Housing is scarce, you have to jump on the bandwagon, because you can’t lose out.”  or “There is a crisis!  Prices are tumbling!  You can’t get a loan..”  I’m not denying how tough it is now for many, nor am I buying into either version of these stories. 

I don’t think that there can be many folks who have not been affected by what is going on in the stock markets.  Like many people, I’ve been saving little by little, have a few shares and a pension fund.  The other day I was tempted to find out how this all had affected my family.  Then I stopped myself.  After all what good could the information do me?  What action could I take on it?  Nothing!  I have no control over this.  There is nowhere outside the system.  However, be absolutely clear, for everyone who is losing out now, there will be another who is a winner.  I am sure that there are people who will make an absolute fortune from the misfortune of others.

Yesterday I was watching a rugby game.  It was so one sided that I walked out at half time.  My side had hardly touched the ball; they didn’t enter the opposing side’s half and were lucky to not be down by more than 19-3!  Later that day I discovered that they had won by 29-22.  What had changed?  How was this possible?  It was pretty much the same 30 men on the field.  I think that the answer to both the economic and sporting question is the only thing that changed was what people thought / felt.

What we think transforms our lives.  I think it was Henry Ford who was supposed to have said “If you think you can do a thing or think you can’t do a thing, you’re right.”   I can understand anyone feeling a bit concerned now, that is only natural.  However, acting from a place of fear is seldom a recipe for success.  There are as many opportunities out there today as there were yesterday, probably more!  You are just as capable today.  Believe in yourself, and commit to action.  One of the principles of Aikido says “Perform with confidence”, without this you are cutting yourself off from the source of your own power.  How can you inspire a sense of confidence in others if you are doubting yourself?

“If money is your hope for independence you will never have it. The only real security that a man will have in this world is a reserve of knowledge, experience, and ability.”  Henry Ford

A blessing or a curse?

Wednesday, August 27th, 2008

I caught all of 3 minutes of a documentary on Sky the other day called “The Real Dirk Diggler”.  It was the story of John Holmes, the man  on whose life the movie, Boggie Nights, was loosely based.  Without getting too bogged down in the specifics, this man was a very well endowed chap.  The interesting thing is that this apparent blessing became a curse that destroyed him.  He seemed to define and think of himself solely in terms of this ‘gift’.  Other people can take an event that would crush another person in their stride, just think of the Para-Olympics.  Why is it that an event that most people would label as ‘good’ can harm, and equally a ‘bad’ one can almost make someone?

I think the secret is that the events and things are not intrinsically good or bad, it is just how we chose to label and respond to them.  The same is true of people, if we label someone ‘no good’ then that is all that we see and all that we get from them.  Someone else with a more positive view almost certainly gets a much better response.  So our labels have huge power to affect not only our own lives but also those who we work and live with.  Labels, are just another handy, labour-saving devices, but they need reviewing or they can be dangerous.

So today maybe a good day to take stock of your labels and check they are all still valid and serving you.

“A name is a label, and as soon as there is a label, the ideas disappear and out comes label-worship and label-bashing, and instead of living by a theme of ideas, people begin dying for labels… and the last thing the world needs is another religion.”   Richard Bach

Resources:

1.  The real Dirk Diggler

Thoughts or Feelings?

Thursday, May 22nd, 2008

I think there maybe two sorts of people in this world, those who are guided by their thoughts and those who are mainly lead by their feelings. If you wanted to be sexist, then I suspect that more men fall into the first group and more women into the second one. Both are obviously useful, both have their own advantages, both are appropriate in particular situations. Neither tends to be right in every instance and of course we all have both faculties. The thing is, we have a tendency to lean rather heavily on our favourite modality and not switch smoothly when it would help us to do so.

Imagine a scene where a wife is talking to her husband about a missed anniversary card. She may well be saying something about how hurt she feels and how forgetting something so important means (to her) that he can’t really care about her. He replies with a variety of logical reasons why this isn’t the case. Ignore the details but it is very hard to really communicate to someone who is referencing the other modality, unless you use your empathetic abilities to move into the same space as them. It is rather like and Englishman talking to a Frenchman; one of them needs to switch language.

If you find that you are having problems getting through to someone, perhaps you might want to check where they are coming from. Their language gives you the clue are they saying “I think” or “I feel”, what kind of adjectives and adverbs are they using?

“Feelings are not supposed to be logical. Dangerous is the man who has rationalized his emotions.” David Borenstein