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What’s it all about Alfie?

Those of you of a certain generation might remember Cilla Black singing Burt Bacharach’s lyrics, asking this immortal question “What’s it all about?”   Now I won’t claim ever to have been so arrogant as to have the an answer to this, but I did have a working hypothesis that worked for me.  I was the kind of person that people tended to ask this kind of question to.  No life is ever perfect, we all have our niggles and worries, but mine worked pretty well.  I lived somewhere I loved, with people I loved, doing a job I love.  I have always had a pretty upbeat attitude to life.  If life was a game of cards, I was happy to stand pat on my hand.

Then 7 weeks ago, the rug was pulled out from under us all when Carys died.  Since then we have all struggled to reorient to our new world, to find new roles and behaviours.  We have done an amazing job of all this, but imagine a team of climbers going up Everest… we were still cold, tired, frightened and wishing we didn’t have to climb anymore!  Then about 10 days ago I was rushed into hospital (the same one!)  They told me that I can’t drive till I see a specialist in a few months time.  So suddenly they have taken away our climbing gear and parkas, and the mountain is a far colder, scarier place.  I have been deprived of one of the key tools for reconstructing my life, my ability to move around.

It is harder and harder to answer the question “What’s it all about?”  If we were having an intellectual debate I could address this well enough, but that no longer satisfies the inner me.  I know sometimes you have to just let time do its work.  I know most of things you can think of saying now…. and guess what?  It makes no difference!

Still as travellers, we never know what is around the next bend, and in the same way we can be ambushed by Life, it can also surprize and delight us…  here’s hoping!

“Life is just a chance to grow a soul.”  A. Powell Davies

“Life is rather like a tin of sardines – we’re all of us looking for the key.”  Alan Bennett

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, March 30th, 2010 at 09:52 and is filed under Personal Blog, Personal Change. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

2 Responses to “What’s it all about Alfie?”

  1. Stephen Bray says:
    31 March , 2010 at 13:16

    Richard,

    What an awful time you’re having. My
    hear goes out to you.

    But you’re quite wrong to assume that
    being without a car is the end of your
    personal civilization.

    Last month I made one of my rare
    pilgrimages to visit relatives in the
    U.K. before moving on to Italy.

    I deliberately didn’t hire a car, and
    enjoyed every moment of my time on
    trains and busses, walking to stations,
    and interacting with those I might have
    missed, had I been in a car.

    How vividly I recall a small boy and
    his grandad whom I encountered at
    Branksome Station, with whom we made
    up fantastic stories whilst waiting for
    a train.

    And how wonderful it was when, upon
    leaving it, he blew me, a near total
    stranger, if friend for fifteen minutes,
    a kiss.

    I understand that you have lost Carys,
    and that life without a car and with
    uncertain health is an additional blow.

    Yet I am reminded of the words of the
    French photographer Henri Cartier-Bresson,
    as I write here:

    “In a world that is buckling under the
    weight of profit-making, that is overrun by
    the destructive sirens of Techno-science,
    and the power hunger of globalization ~
    the new brand of slavery ~ beyond all that,
    Friendship exists. Love exists.”

    Warm regards,

    Stephen

  2. richardderwentcooke says:
    31 March , 2010 at 13:36

    Stephen.. thank you. I’m not suggesting that having a car is critical per se, but where we are it is pretty much essential, and certainly for me it equals freedom rather than civilisation. I accept that wonderful things can happen when you travel by public transport that a car isolates us from but it puts an end to ‘popping’ anywhere and makes every trip something to be planned carefully and rather expensive over here

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